Well it's been another week.....some of it has been good, some of it has been bad....but thus far we've survived. I will admit that I am exhausted -- mentally, emotionally, and physically. Thus far this month has NOT gone the way I had hoped and planned.
Vehicle repair issues, the water pump for our house having issues, and Taz's erratic behavior at school.....sigh, I'm really starting to understand why some people drink to escape their problems. If only it were that simple -- if only a glass of wine could make everything better. But unfortunately it doesn't work that way, at least not in our world.....it would take a whole lot more than a glass of wine to fix all of this! Of course a friend of mine allowed me to vent the other day, and her remarks made me chuckle a bit...."oh girl, sounds like you need an entire vineyard!"
If only it were that easy.....if only there were such a simple fix. Sigh....alas, not in my world. As you are aware, we've been dealing with the joys of puberty and all of the hormones that create chaos in the body and mind of every teenager. Taz has had good days and bad days.....the good days have been amazing, and the bad days have been filled with behaviors that just make me shake my head and ask "WTF is going on?!?" Like for example, one day he had behavior issues and decided to urinate in the corner (instead of using the toilet or urinal) of the school restroom.....sigh....on another difficult day, he was in the mood to hit and kick. He got off the bus and decided to get right in the face of the biggest and baddest kid at the Middle School. Thank God that kid was a general ed student who understood about Taz & his issues....and thankfully the kid made the choice to refrain from knocking Taz flat on his ass! Seriously though, that kid was HUGE -- he's been held back at least twice, he's very tall and stocky built, and has more facial hair than most of the men on staff at the school.....even the freakin' principal is scared of that kid! A few staff members refer to that kid as "Godzilla".
Then yesterday Taz decided to exhibit somewhat "normal" teenage behavior....he became jealous when one of his female friends started talking with another guy in class. The only problem being is that "other guy" is also an AI student who has a very VERY short fuse and is a big kid as well (I think he must be related to Godzilla). Taz's aide and a few other staff members quickly noticed that things were about to turn ugly really fast....and they removed Taz from the room before anything bad could happen. By all reports, Taz is lucky because of the "other guy" a.k.a. Godzilla Junior would have snapped, and he could have seriously injured Taz. Apparently Godzilla Junior went off on another student last year, and it took 3 full grown men to pull him off of the student. Thus it scares the crap out of me that Taz was "this close" to being the next target.....and he put himself into the situation to begin with by getting jealous and upset. On the drive home I just looked at him and said "seriously dude, do you have a death wish?!?! What's up with you trying to get into the face and start something with 2 of the biggest baddest kids in your school?"
This morning my mild sinus headache was borderline migraine, and what had started out earlier in the week as some mild sinus congestion was now a full blown sinus infection.....needless to say, I feel like crap and wasn't in the mood to deal with any crap this morning. Of course Taz picked up on that quickly and decided to try to push my buttons. He started to claim he didn't feel good and needed to stay home from school.....of course I wasn't buying it and told him to get up and get himself ready. He decided to kick things up a notch, and went into the bathroom and forced himself to vomit. Then said "see mom, I really am sick." I just shook my head and said "no you're not, you did that on purpose -- you know you're faking it, I know you're faking it. I'm not in the mood to deal with this so are you going to go to school and have a good day or not?" Then he became defiant and screamed at me "no I'm not going to school!" -- my response -- "ok, fine then go back to bed but know this first -- there will be NO tv or video games today. If you're sick, then go back to bed."
At that point son #2 was in the process of getting himself dressed and ready for his bus that would arrive shortly after Taz's. He could see the look of frustration on my face....and he knew I felt beat down and physically exhausted. Thus he decided to step in and try to help (God bless him!). He went into Taz's room and reminded his big brother that tonight was a home football game. He said "well I guess none of us can go if you're going to stay home from school and pull this crap." Hmmm...that got Taz's attention! Football game, what football game?!? Son #2 said "well remember on the announcements the other day, tonight's game is student night -- they will have a special tailgate meal, and stuff they are giving away...plus ticket prices at the gate are cheaper than normal games. IF you weren't trying to fake being sick, making bad choices and having bad behavior -- then we might be able to go to the game. But now that's not gonna happen, the only way that would happen is IF you go to school, have a good day, and make good choices." Hmmm....FOOTBALL....now THAT got Taz's attention.
Taz came out of his room and asked if we could go to the game -- my response -- "not if you're going to pull this crap and stay home sick." You could see the wheels of thought starting to click and he said "well if I go to school, can we go to the game tonight?" With a firm voice I said "well that will depend, you have to make good choices at school and have good behavior ALL day." Then I reminded him of the fact that I had already called his bus driver and told her that he wouldn't be attending school today. Son #2 said "that's ok, if you hurry and get ready you can ride my bus with me." Ummmm, no he can't....no way was I going to put Taz on a general ed bus! I looked at both of them and said "just hurry up and I'll drive you both to school" then informed hubby that he'd have to finish getting the 2 younger boys ready for their bus. Well son #2 helped Taz get ready & gather up all of his school stuff....apparently they had both tuned out to my response of "I'll drive you to school", because as I was attempting to put my shoes on they were both heading out the door. I said "get in the truck, I'll be out in a minute".....Taz was already out the door.
As I walked outside and began to open the door to my truck, I noticed the bus for son #2 was at the end of the driveway....oh crap, I had forgotten to call and tell them that I'd be driving him in with Taz. I waved my arms and shouted "go ahead and go"...then started to get into the truck and realized that Taz wasn't there! I looked at son #2 and said "where is your brother?" then we both said "oh crap" as we realized -- Taz had gotten on son #2's bus!
I quickly sprinted down the very long driveway screaming "wait, don't go yet!" -- thank God the bus driver had been waiting, just sitting there thinking that son #2 was on his way. I ran up to the bus and said "is Taz on here?!" -- the driver laughed and said "yeah, he got on and I told him 'you don't ride my bus, where is your brother?' -- he looked at me and said 'I'm riding with him today, don't worry he's coming' -- then he proceeded to find a seat and sit down." I couldn't help but laugh....the poor driver, she looked so freaked out! She said "I tried to tell him that he can't ride my bus because he's an AI student, but he didn't seem to get it and just went and sat down. He's a big kid, I didn't want to argue with him and wasn't sure what to do." I apologized to her and explained that there had been some confusion this morning & I'd be driving both of the boys to school, then I thanked her for waiting and not making things worse by trying to kick Taz off of the bus.
Taz got up from his seat and exited the bus without an issue....that poor driver, she still had that "deer in the headlights" look though....I'd have to do some serious sucking up later on to make this up to her. On the drive to school son #2 and I both explained to Taz that if he wanted to go to the football game tonight, he would HAVE to have good behavior at school all day, make good choices, and ride his own bus home. He seemed to get what we were saying....and knock on wood, thus far no calls from the school as of yet, so I'm hoping that means he's doing ok today. God bless son #2 for stepping in this morning and helping out.....for being able to re-direct his brother and make him change his attitude about going to school, especially when I felt so beat down and was ready to give up just to avoid having a battle. Of course now I'm thinking about the football game....yikes, what the hell was I thinking this morning?!?! Agreeing to take 4 kids to a high school football game by myself (hubby has to work)?! I must be losing my mind....
Of course the other issue running through my head at the moment.....with the way Taz's behavior has been thus far this school year, we have to look at other possible options. We've tried everything thus far, and nothing has worked....oh some things do work as good behavior incentives, but that only lasts for a day or two. His anxiety has been much higher and I know the puberty hormones are playing a big roll in all of this.....thus after a long talk, hubby and I agreed that as much as we don't want to, we have to look at the possibility of putting Taz on some type of anxiety medication. Perhaps for just a short term until all of this puberty stuff is under control.....but we both agreed that at this point we are out of options and need to do something. I absolutely HATE the thought of having to go back to medication, especially because of the issues we've had with it in the past and the heart problem the last med caused....but at this point, what else can we do? Where do you go once you've exhausted every other possible option? Sigh.....welcome to Autism the Teen Years!
Friday, September 21, 2012
Sunday, September 16, 2012
8th Grade - Week #2
Well we survived week #2 of 8th grade.....or at least as much as possible. Not sure if I mentioned in my previous post, but aside from the "first week of school anxiety" and minor issues, we had a bunch of other stuff to deal with. Hubby's vehicle died.....thus we had to deal with the repair issues for that.
When this week began, I think I had more anxiety than anyone else. Dealing with the vehicle repair issues, the anniversary of 9/11, and just the normal day to day stress things....but Taz did well on Monday and Tuesday, thus I had high hopes that this week would go well. Silly mommy, when will you learn?
Yep, my little bubble of hope was burst on Wednesday when the school called and said "You need to come and pick Taz up." Sigh....ok, no other details were given, and from the tone of the secretary's voice I could tell it was something fairly serious. As I drove to the school, a million different scenes played out in my head and I kept wondering what Taz might have done. When I entered the building, there was Taz sitting on the bench in the lobby with Mrs. K holding onto him tightly.....not a good sign. Apparently he had become annoyed with another student's behavior, thus decided to act out and make bad choices.....one of which was trying to run off to the restroom repeatedly. Ok, hiding out in the restroom isn't that bad, however making the choice to purposely pee in the corner all over the floor instead of using the urinal was a bad choice.....which led to a 1-day suspension. Double sigh....
As Mrs. K explained the reason why this behavior resulted in a 1-day suspension, I just looked at Taz and said "Seriously dude?!?!" -- yes I was very annoyed and I'm pretty sure I rolled my eyes. I knew in my heart that Taz understood why his behavior was wrong.....what he had done was a "bad choice"....and I will admit, it just made my heart sink a bit. This was what they call "cycle behavior" --- something he hasn't done in years. Mrs. K explained that they did have Taz mop up the mess (and yes, in my head I just thought "good, he should have to clean it up") although I refrained from making a comment because I was afraid that if I did, I'd burst out in tears. So instead I just stood there and listened as Mrs. K gave me the short version of what had taken place, biting my lip to keep from crying and all the while giving Taz that "mean mom" glare. On the drive home I asked him "why did you pee on the floor?" and his response was "I don't know"....seriously dude? Sigh....
Later that afternoon we sat down and talked to Taz about making good choices, having good behavior at school, and all of the other things we've discussed a million different times before. I couldn't help but feel like a broken record....seems like I've repeated these things and had various discussions like this with him over and over. I couldn't help but wonder when it all would sink in.....when will he finally "get it" and understand that he can no longer do these things? I also began to doubt myself and wonder where it is that I've gone wrong? I've listened to all of the so-called experts and have followed their advice.....yet things like this continue to happen. How can I prepare Taz for adulthood and what types of behaviors are and aren't acceptable? How can I get this stuff to click in his head so he will understand? By the time the kids went to bed that night, I was feeling extremely beat down emotionally and mentally.....
Taz's suspension was technically not really a suspension....just more of a "ok, he has to go home for the rest of the day because of his bad choices, then he can come back to school tomorrow and start fresh" type of things. So Thursday morning I did everything that I could to make sure it would be a good day.....I even resorted to a bribe. Yes, I bribed my kid.....hey, at this point I'll do whatever works. Taz loves to use the computer to look up stuff -- for example, he is fixated on hockey right now, thus he is always looking for sports updates and information about his favorite team and players. Thus my "bribe" was as follows: have a good day at school and make good choices, and the "reward" would be 15 minutes of computer time when you get home from school. To make the reward & deal a little better, I gave him one dollar to purchase something from the snack bar at school.....hopefully that would be the cherry on the top of the sundae to keep him on track and doing well at school for the day. The bus arrived and I kept my fingers crossed that all would go well.
My day was spent communicating with "the team" (IEP team) via email and phone calls.....discussing what other tweaks we could do to his behavior plan, and what other possible incentive things we could brainstorm that would keep Taz on track and doing well this year. One thing that his aide has tried at school....after lunch the kids all hang out in the gym. I was told that Taz has become more interested in trying to play basketball with some of the gen ed kids, thus his aide has used that as an incentive.....good behavior and choices during the morning classes equals having some time to play basketball with the other kids after lunch. Well that seemed to work for Thursday, because he did really well all day (I'm sure the bribes from mom helped also, but hey whatever works right?).
In between the phone calls and emails with the team, I received a phone call from my niece. She was calling to let me know that my mom's estate was finally what they considered to be "officially settled".....the bills were all paid and everything from mom's home has either been sold, donated, or dumped in the trash. Now if you've read my previous blog posts about the issues with my family, you're aware of all of the drama that has taken place since my mom passed away, especially in regards to her financial stuff. If not, then I suggest you take a moment to read some of the old posts. Suffice to say, I haven't spoken to 2 of my sisters in several months....and at this point, I doubt if I ever will. Too much has been said....and there has been too much pain and heartache, thus whatever relationship we might have had died the day that mom did. In my humble opinion, there isn't anything left to try to salvage or use to rebuild a relationship, thus it's time to let go and move on.
But now that things are technically settled and done in regards to the estate, I can close that chapter in my life and move on. The other reason for my niece's call was to inform me that after all bills were paid, etc there was a little bit left over....not a huge windfall by any means, but a little something that would help financially. And my share would be enough to at least cover the repair costs so we could get hubby's vehicle fixed. That was a huge relief to say the least! After I finished talking to my niece, I hung up the phone and just sobbed. All of the stress, all of the heartache and pain -- everything that I had just pushed down and tried to bottle up for the past few months just came rushing to the surface, and for the first time in months I allowed myself to have a mini meltdown.....I sobbed like a baby for at least 20 minutes. The realization that this is it -- my mom is really gone -- and everything is finally settled and done -- just hit me, and it hit me hard. I cried for what I had lost, and I cried for what I had gained.....and I cried for how bittersweet the reality of it all was.
On a good note, Taz had a great day at school Thursday....and I kept my promise (bribe) and allowed him to have computer time when he got home from school. I told hubby about the phone call with my niece. Then I went back into "mom mode" and worked to prepare myself for Friday, and tried to determine how we'd keep Taz on track for this school year. Friday morning, I once again reminded him while we were waiting for the bus...."remember honey, good choices and behavior today will equal computer time when you get home." He nodded his head and off he went.....and once again, had another great day at school. During a phone call with one of the team members, I was informed that Taz has shown a great interest in basketball....and some of the gen ed kids that he's been playing ball with during lunchtime will be trying out for the 8th grade team, thus they have mentioned it to Taz. As a result, Taz wants to try out for the team. Yikes!
The thought of him playing on a team sport with gen ed kids scares the hell out of me....number one, he's not that good at basketball (yes I really did just say that), secondly he's never been involved in any type of club or team sport, thus I really have no clue if he can grasp that a "real" basketball game is much different compared to the ones they play during lunchtime. And lastly, our school is "parent transport" for athletics.....thus if he were to try out for the team and actually make it, I'd be responsible for transporting him to and from all games.....not to mention having to drive him back & forth for practice and all of that stuff. Between hubby's crazy work schedule and everything with the other kids, doing something like that would be a major stress factor for me -- and I know that 90% of the transport responsibility would fall on my shoulders (have I mentioned that some of the schools our teams play against are an hour drive from here? And did I also mention that I absolutely HATE driving on the highways and at night?). Yep, just thinking about it all raised my blood pressure just a tad bit.
Of course aside from the things that I just mentioned, I also had concerns about who would be responsible for Taz during team practice sessions and how would he handle it all? I wondered what would happen if God forbid, he had a meltdown during an actual game? Sigh....there were so many things to consider! Of course the other part of me thought about how much this could build his self-esteem and help with his social skills, and perhaps improve his behavior as well. It could be a positive thing.....and also serve as a huge incentive for keeping Taz on track.....after all, in order to be a part of the team he would have to have good grades, make good choices at school, and maintain good behavior. Yep, this was definitely something hubby & I would have to discuss more and put a lot of thought into. We'd have to discuss it all with "the team" as well and get their thoughts on the topic.....sigh, more phone calls, emails, and meetings.....as if my "to do" list wasn't long enough.
Thus that has been our week.....and just when I thought I might be able to relax a little bit and attempt to enjoy the weekend, I came home yesterday after being gone the entire day with the kids....to discover we had no water! Oh great.....(yes I did say a few swear words)....I really did NOT need another issue to deal with! So much for a relaxing weekend right? Of course I know I have to try to find the positive in all of this.....thus because of mom's estate being settled this week, we had just enough to cover the repair bills for hubby's vehicle with just enough left over to cover this repair (turns out it's 2 different things).....so that's a good thing right? Sigh....thanks for the inheritance or whatever you want to call it.....I tried not to spend it all in one place mom! Yes it sucks that what little bit we did receive is now spent on repair crap.....but I am thankful for the timing of it all, because without it we really would have been "up a creek without a paddle".....so there, I found the bright side to all of this. I guess mom is still trying to help out even from the grave, and in her own way telling me that "this too shall pass". I guess this is her way of reminding me that I am strong enough to deal with whatever comes our way. Either that, or she's just messing with me and trying to prepare me for sainthood....I swear, one day there WILL be a dashboard bobble head saint named after me. Regardless of which it is, I will give thanks for the blessing and the lessons from this past week.
When this week began, I think I had more anxiety than anyone else. Dealing with the vehicle repair issues, the anniversary of 9/11, and just the normal day to day stress things....but Taz did well on Monday and Tuesday, thus I had high hopes that this week would go well. Silly mommy, when will you learn?
Yep, my little bubble of hope was burst on Wednesday when the school called and said "You need to come and pick Taz up." Sigh....ok, no other details were given, and from the tone of the secretary's voice I could tell it was something fairly serious. As I drove to the school, a million different scenes played out in my head and I kept wondering what Taz might have done. When I entered the building, there was Taz sitting on the bench in the lobby with Mrs. K holding onto him tightly.....not a good sign. Apparently he had become annoyed with another student's behavior, thus decided to act out and make bad choices.....one of which was trying to run off to the restroom repeatedly. Ok, hiding out in the restroom isn't that bad, however making the choice to purposely pee in the corner all over the floor instead of using the urinal was a bad choice.....which led to a 1-day suspension. Double sigh....
As Mrs. K explained the reason why this behavior resulted in a 1-day suspension, I just looked at Taz and said "Seriously dude?!?!" -- yes I was very annoyed and I'm pretty sure I rolled my eyes. I knew in my heart that Taz understood why his behavior was wrong.....what he had done was a "bad choice"....and I will admit, it just made my heart sink a bit. This was what they call "cycle behavior" --- something he hasn't done in years. Mrs. K explained that they did have Taz mop up the mess (and yes, in my head I just thought "good, he should have to clean it up") although I refrained from making a comment because I was afraid that if I did, I'd burst out in tears. So instead I just stood there and listened as Mrs. K gave me the short version of what had taken place, biting my lip to keep from crying and all the while giving Taz that "mean mom" glare. On the drive home I asked him "why did you pee on the floor?" and his response was "I don't know"....seriously dude? Sigh....
Later that afternoon we sat down and talked to Taz about making good choices, having good behavior at school, and all of the other things we've discussed a million different times before. I couldn't help but feel like a broken record....seems like I've repeated these things and had various discussions like this with him over and over. I couldn't help but wonder when it all would sink in.....when will he finally "get it" and understand that he can no longer do these things? I also began to doubt myself and wonder where it is that I've gone wrong? I've listened to all of the so-called experts and have followed their advice.....yet things like this continue to happen. How can I prepare Taz for adulthood and what types of behaviors are and aren't acceptable? How can I get this stuff to click in his head so he will understand? By the time the kids went to bed that night, I was feeling extremely beat down emotionally and mentally.....
Taz's suspension was technically not really a suspension....just more of a "ok, he has to go home for the rest of the day because of his bad choices, then he can come back to school tomorrow and start fresh" type of things. So Thursday morning I did everything that I could to make sure it would be a good day.....I even resorted to a bribe. Yes, I bribed my kid.....hey, at this point I'll do whatever works. Taz loves to use the computer to look up stuff -- for example, he is fixated on hockey right now, thus he is always looking for sports updates and information about his favorite team and players. Thus my "bribe" was as follows: have a good day at school and make good choices, and the "reward" would be 15 minutes of computer time when you get home from school. To make the reward & deal a little better, I gave him one dollar to purchase something from the snack bar at school.....hopefully that would be the cherry on the top of the sundae to keep him on track and doing well at school for the day. The bus arrived and I kept my fingers crossed that all would go well.
My day was spent communicating with "the team" (IEP team) via email and phone calls.....discussing what other tweaks we could do to his behavior plan, and what other possible incentive things we could brainstorm that would keep Taz on track and doing well this year. One thing that his aide has tried at school....after lunch the kids all hang out in the gym. I was told that Taz has become more interested in trying to play basketball with some of the gen ed kids, thus his aide has used that as an incentive.....good behavior and choices during the morning classes equals having some time to play basketball with the other kids after lunch. Well that seemed to work for Thursday, because he did really well all day (I'm sure the bribes from mom helped also, but hey whatever works right?).
In between the phone calls and emails with the team, I received a phone call from my niece. She was calling to let me know that my mom's estate was finally what they considered to be "officially settled".....the bills were all paid and everything from mom's home has either been sold, donated, or dumped in the trash. Now if you've read my previous blog posts about the issues with my family, you're aware of all of the drama that has taken place since my mom passed away, especially in regards to her financial stuff. If not, then I suggest you take a moment to read some of the old posts. Suffice to say, I haven't spoken to 2 of my sisters in several months....and at this point, I doubt if I ever will. Too much has been said....and there has been too much pain and heartache, thus whatever relationship we might have had died the day that mom did. In my humble opinion, there isn't anything left to try to salvage or use to rebuild a relationship, thus it's time to let go and move on.
But now that things are technically settled and done in regards to the estate, I can close that chapter in my life and move on. The other reason for my niece's call was to inform me that after all bills were paid, etc there was a little bit left over....not a huge windfall by any means, but a little something that would help financially. And my share would be enough to at least cover the repair costs so we could get hubby's vehicle fixed. That was a huge relief to say the least! After I finished talking to my niece, I hung up the phone and just sobbed. All of the stress, all of the heartache and pain -- everything that I had just pushed down and tried to bottle up for the past few months just came rushing to the surface, and for the first time in months I allowed myself to have a mini meltdown.....I sobbed like a baby for at least 20 minutes. The realization that this is it -- my mom is really gone -- and everything is finally settled and done -- just hit me, and it hit me hard. I cried for what I had lost, and I cried for what I had gained.....and I cried for how bittersweet the reality of it all was.
On a good note, Taz had a great day at school Thursday....and I kept my promise (bribe) and allowed him to have computer time when he got home from school. I told hubby about the phone call with my niece. Then I went back into "mom mode" and worked to prepare myself for Friday, and tried to determine how we'd keep Taz on track for this school year. Friday morning, I once again reminded him while we were waiting for the bus...."remember honey, good choices and behavior today will equal computer time when you get home." He nodded his head and off he went.....and once again, had another great day at school. During a phone call with one of the team members, I was informed that Taz has shown a great interest in basketball....and some of the gen ed kids that he's been playing ball with during lunchtime will be trying out for the 8th grade team, thus they have mentioned it to Taz. As a result, Taz wants to try out for the team. Yikes!
The thought of him playing on a team sport with gen ed kids scares the hell out of me....number one, he's not that good at basketball (yes I really did just say that), secondly he's never been involved in any type of club or team sport, thus I really have no clue if he can grasp that a "real" basketball game is much different compared to the ones they play during lunchtime. And lastly, our school is "parent transport" for athletics.....thus if he were to try out for the team and actually make it, I'd be responsible for transporting him to and from all games.....not to mention having to drive him back & forth for practice and all of that stuff. Between hubby's crazy work schedule and everything with the other kids, doing something like that would be a major stress factor for me -- and I know that 90% of the transport responsibility would fall on my shoulders (have I mentioned that some of the schools our teams play against are an hour drive from here? And did I also mention that I absolutely HATE driving on the highways and at night?). Yep, just thinking about it all raised my blood pressure just a tad bit.
Of course aside from the things that I just mentioned, I also had concerns about who would be responsible for Taz during team practice sessions and how would he handle it all? I wondered what would happen if God forbid, he had a meltdown during an actual game? Sigh....there were so many things to consider! Of course the other part of me thought about how much this could build his self-esteem and help with his social skills, and perhaps improve his behavior as well. It could be a positive thing.....and also serve as a huge incentive for keeping Taz on track.....after all, in order to be a part of the team he would have to have good grades, make good choices at school, and maintain good behavior. Yep, this was definitely something hubby & I would have to discuss more and put a lot of thought into. We'd have to discuss it all with "the team" as well and get their thoughts on the topic.....sigh, more phone calls, emails, and meetings.....as if my "to do" list wasn't long enough.
Thus that has been our week.....and just when I thought I might be able to relax a little bit and attempt to enjoy the weekend, I came home yesterday after being gone the entire day with the kids....to discover we had no water! Oh great.....(yes I did say a few swear words)....I really did NOT need another issue to deal with! So much for a relaxing weekend right? Of course I know I have to try to find the positive in all of this.....thus because of mom's estate being settled this week, we had just enough to cover the repair bills for hubby's vehicle with just enough left over to cover this repair (turns out it's 2 different things).....so that's a good thing right? Sigh....thanks for the inheritance or whatever you want to call it.....I tried not to spend it all in one place mom! Yes it sucks that what little bit we did receive is now spent on repair crap.....but I am thankful for the timing of it all, because without it we really would have been "up a creek without a paddle".....so there, I found the bright side to all of this. I guess mom is still trying to help out even from the grave, and in her own way telling me that "this too shall pass". I guess this is her way of reminding me that I am strong enough to deal with whatever comes our way. Either that, or she's just messing with me and trying to prepare me for sainthood....I swear, one day there WILL be a dashboard bobble head saint named after me. Regardless of which it is, I will give thanks for the blessing and the lessons from this past week.
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
8th Grade - Week #1
Hello blog peeps! I know, I know....it's been a while since my last post. What can I say? Life has been hectic, and the blog has sort of dropped down a bit on my priority list. But now that school has begun, I hope to get back into the habit of updating things on a regular basis.
Well here we are, a new school year.....8th grade....yikes! I have to admit, I think my anxiety regarding this school year was a bit higher than what Taz's anxiety level was, especially considering how rough the first 2 years of Middle School were. Although I had some doubts and anxiety, I also had hope that we were far enough over the puberty hurdle that perhaps this year might go better than the last....especially considering all of the changes we had made regarding Taz's academic schedule.
The end-of-the-year IEP meeting last year was longer than normal.....we had looked at all of the possible options, brainstormed and discussed different behavior issues and how they would be dealt with, etc. -- thus my hope for 8th grade was that since we had spent so much time planning and discussing all of the "what if?" scenarios.....if nothing else, the "team" would be better prepared to deal with things this year and be able to help keep Taz focused and on track. The only real issue that I had struggled with was the fact that we had opted to switch Taz from doing his core classes (math, science, social studies, & English) from general ed classrooms to resource room classrooms. Although we all agreed that academically Taz could do the grade level work, he might do better in a smaller class setting such as the resource room. At least in RR, not only would there be less students thus less noise & distraction, but also the opportunity to work at his own pace and receive more one-on-one time from the teacher as needed if he struggled with anything. Thus in the long run, this would mean (hopefully) less anxiety & behavioral issues for Taz.
I am proud to report that the first 2 days of school were wonderful! Taz was so excited about his schedule for this semester and thrilled to see all of his friends. The notes sent home by his aide the first 2 days gave me hope that we were finally over the hurdles and on the right track for having a great year. It wasn't long before that bubble burst however.....because on Thursday there were issues. The worst part -- there was absolutely no rhyme or reason to what might have triggered the behavior issues. It was frustrating and I felt as if this might be a sign that perhaps this year wouldn't be that great after all. On Friday morning, Taz began to complain that his stomach hurt.....of course I could tell that he was "faking" an illness and trying to come up with whatever excuse would work to be able to stay home from school. I tried to talk him through things....calm whatever anxiety he might be having, etc but it didn't work. I finally decided that although I hated to keep him home especially since this was the first week of school....sending him would be a bad idea and would probably result in a phone call to pick him up at some point during the day. So, I caved in and told him he could stay home sick. I explained very clearly that IF he was staying home sick, then that meant NO video games and NO tv until after lunchtime. He just looked at me and said "well what CAN I do?" -- my response -- "get back into bed and rest." So, while his brother's got ready for school, Taz laid down in his bed and went back to sleep.....and he slept until after 11:00 a.m. so perhaps he did have a little bit of a stomach bug or something....who knows? Or perhaps he had just gotten himself so worked up than he was worn out as a result.
Over the weekend we discussed the differences between 8th grade and previous years. I explained how important it was that he be successful this year, make good choices, have good behavior, etc to help prepare him for what High School would be like. I explained that now that he is closer to being an adult, his choices and behaviors need to be more adult-like. Then I had him sit down and write a list of 5 goals for 8th grade....things he would like to achieve before the end of the year. After he wrote down his goals, we sat and talked about ways that he could achieve those goals and what type of choices he would have to make. He seemed to understand the point that I had been trying to make, and appeared to be re-focused and back on track. We discussed the possible mini-rewards that he could earn for making good choices and having good behavior at school each day.....rewards like extra computer time when he got home from school (providing his homework was done first), being allowed extra tv time, and extending his bedtime to a little bit later than his younger siblings.
We survived the weekend and everything indicated that perhaps we were back on track for this week.....then I remembered that the anniversary of 9/11 was this week! Taz has always been super sensitive to the events that took place on 9/11.....and he has always had a higher level of anxiety during this time as a result. So....on Sunday night we talked about it, and he seemed to be ok with everything. Monday went well....the note his aide sent home had many positive comments on it (ok great, we're off to a good start).....Tuesday also went well....which of course surprised me considering it was the anniversary of 9/11. Then last night the History Channel had a special about the 9/11 events....and I was surprised (to say the least) that Taz asked if we could watch it. I thought about it for a moment and then said "ok sure".....I was greatly surprised by how focused and quiet Taz was throughout the show. He sat and watched everything very intently, asking a few questions here and there throughout the show.....then I noticed something on the floor in front of him. It was his "list" notebook.....Taz has become fixated with making lists. He has a list for everything....sports teams, foods, favorite places, etc -- you name it, he has a list for it.
I asked him during a commercial what he was writing a new list about. He explained that he was writing down the times that each event took place, the flight numbers, and also a list of all of the victim's names....because (and these were his exact words) "it is important that we always remember those who were lost on that day." My eyes welled with tears....was it possible that he was really grasping just how important this day was in our country's history? Did he really understand the significance of it all? I fought back my tears and said "yes honey, our country must always remember and honor those who were lost on this day." After the show ended, he asked me what I remembered about 9/11....and where we were when all of this happened eleven years ago. After he went to bed, I sat and replayed our conversation in my mind.....I thought about how mature he has become and how he really seemed to grasp the importance of everything we had discussed. Perhaps the behavior issues this past week were just a fluke, and this year would be a good year after all? Time will tell....
Well here we are, a new school year.....8th grade....yikes! I have to admit, I think my anxiety regarding this school year was a bit higher than what Taz's anxiety level was, especially considering how rough the first 2 years of Middle School were. Although I had some doubts and anxiety, I also had hope that we were far enough over the puberty hurdle that perhaps this year might go better than the last....especially considering all of the changes we had made regarding Taz's academic schedule.
The end-of-the-year IEP meeting last year was longer than normal.....we had looked at all of the possible options, brainstormed and discussed different behavior issues and how they would be dealt with, etc. -- thus my hope for 8th grade was that since we had spent so much time planning and discussing all of the "what if?" scenarios.....if nothing else, the "team" would be better prepared to deal with things this year and be able to help keep Taz focused and on track. The only real issue that I had struggled with was the fact that we had opted to switch Taz from doing his core classes (math, science, social studies, & English) from general ed classrooms to resource room classrooms. Although we all agreed that academically Taz could do the grade level work, he might do better in a smaller class setting such as the resource room. At least in RR, not only would there be less students thus less noise & distraction, but also the opportunity to work at his own pace and receive more one-on-one time from the teacher as needed if he struggled with anything. Thus in the long run, this would mean (hopefully) less anxiety & behavioral issues for Taz.
I am proud to report that the first 2 days of school were wonderful! Taz was so excited about his schedule for this semester and thrilled to see all of his friends. The notes sent home by his aide the first 2 days gave me hope that we were finally over the hurdles and on the right track for having a great year. It wasn't long before that bubble burst however.....because on Thursday there were issues. The worst part -- there was absolutely no rhyme or reason to what might have triggered the behavior issues. It was frustrating and I felt as if this might be a sign that perhaps this year wouldn't be that great after all. On Friday morning, Taz began to complain that his stomach hurt.....of course I could tell that he was "faking" an illness and trying to come up with whatever excuse would work to be able to stay home from school. I tried to talk him through things....calm whatever anxiety he might be having, etc but it didn't work. I finally decided that although I hated to keep him home especially since this was the first week of school....sending him would be a bad idea and would probably result in a phone call to pick him up at some point during the day. So, I caved in and told him he could stay home sick. I explained very clearly that IF he was staying home sick, then that meant NO video games and NO tv until after lunchtime. He just looked at me and said "well what CAN I do?" -- my response -- "get back into bed and rest." So, while his brother's got ready for school, Taz laid down in his bed and went back to sleep.....and he slept until after 11:00 a.m. so perhaps he did have a little bit of a stomach bug or something....who knows? Or perhaps he had just gotten himself so worked up than he was worn out as a result.
Over the weekend we discussed the differences between 8th grade and previous years. I explained how important it was that he be successful this year, make good choices, have good behavior, etc to help prepare him for what High School would be like. I explained that now that he is closer to being an adult, his choices and behaviors need to be more adult-like. Then I had him sit down and write a list of 5 goals for 8th grade....things he would like to achieve before the end of the year. After he wrote down his goals, we sat and talked about ways that he could achieve those goals and what type of choices he would have to make. He seemed to understand the point that I had been trying to make, and appeared to be re-focused and back on track. We discussed the possible mini-rewards that he could earn for making good choices and having good behavior at school each day.....rewards like extra computer time when he got home from school (providing his homework was done first), being allowed extra tv time, and extending his bedtime to a little bit later than his younger siblings.
We survived the weekend and everything indicated that perhaps we were back on track for this week.....then I remembered that the anniversary of 9/11 was this week! Taz has always been super sensitive to the events that took place on 9/11.....and he has always had a higher level of anxiety during this time as a result. So....on Sunday night we talked about it, and he seemed to be ok with everything. Monday went well....the note his aide sent home had many positive comments on it (ok great, we're off to a good start).....Tuesday also went well....which of course surprised me considering it was the anniversary of 9/11. Then last night the History Channel had a special about the 9/11 events....and I was surprised (to say the least) that Taz asked if we could watch it. I thought about it for a moment and then said "ok sure".....I was greatly surprised by how focused and quiet Taz was throughout the show. He sat and watched everything very intently, asking a few questions here and there throughout the show.....then I noticed something on the floor in front of him. It was his "list" notebook.....Taz has become fixated with making lists. He has a list for everything....sports teams, foods, favorite places, etc -- you name it, he has a list for it.
I asked him during a commercial what he was writing a new list about. He explained that he was writing down the times that each event took place, the flight numbers, and also a list of all of the victim's names....because (and these were his exact words) "it is important that we always remember those who were lost on that day." My eyes welled with tears....was it possible that he was really grasping just how important this day was in our country's history? Did he really understand the significance of it all? I fought back my tears and said "yes honey, our country must always remember and honor those who were lost on this day." After the show ended, he asked me what I remembered about 9/11....and where we were when all of this happened eleven years ago. After he went to bed, I sat and replayed our conversation in my mind.....I thought about how mature he has become and how he really seemed to grasp the importance of everything we had discussed. Perhaps the behavior issues this past week were just a fluke, and this year would be a good year after all? Time will tell....
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