8th Grade - Week #1

Hello blog peeps! I know, I know....it's been a while since my last post. What can I say? Life has been hectic, and the blog has sort of dropped down a bit on my priority list. But now that school has begun, I hope to get back into the habit of updating things on a regular basis.

Well here we are, a new school year.....8th grade....yikes! I have to admit, I think my anxiety regarding this school year was a bit higher than what Taz's anxiety level was, especially considering how rough the first 2 years of Middle School were. Although I had some doubts and anxiety, I also had hope that we were far enough over the puberty hurdle that perhaps this year might go better than the last....especially considering all of the changes we had made regarding Taz's academic schedule.

The end-of-the-year IEP meeting last year was longer than normal.....we had looked at all of the possible options, brainstormed and discussed different behavior issues and how they would be dealt with, etc. -- thus my hope for 8th grade was that since we had spent so much time planning and discussing all of the "what if?" scenarios.....if nothing else, the "team" would be better prepared to deal with things this year and be able to help keep Taz focused and on track. The only real issue that I had struggled with was the fact that we had opted to switch Taz from doing his core classes (math, science, social studies, & English) from general ed classrooms to resource room classrooms. Although we all agreed that academically Taz could do the grade level work, he might do better in a smaller class setting such as the resource room. At least in RR, not only would there be less students thus less noise & distraction, but also the opportunity to work at his own pace and receive more one-on-one time from the teacher as needed if he struggled with anything. Thus in the long run, this would mean (hopefully) less anxiety & behavioral issues for Taz.

I am proud to report that the first 2 days of school were wonderful! Taz was so excited about his schedule for this semester and thrilled to see all of his friends. The notes sent home by his aide the first 2 days gave me hope that we were finally over the hurdles and on the right track for having a great year. It wasn't long before that bubble burst however.....because on Thursday there were issues. The worst part -- there was absolutely no rhyme or reason to what might have triggered the behavior issues. It was frustrating and I felt as if this might be a sign that perhaps this year wouldn't be that great after all. On Friday morning, Taz began to complain that his stomach hurt.....of course I could tell that he was "faking" an illness and trying to come up with whatever excuse would work to be able to stay home from school. I tried to talk him through things....calm whatever anxiety he might be having, etc but it didn't work. I finally decided that although I hated to keep him home especially since this was the first week of school....sending him would be a bad idea and would probably result in a phone call to pick him up at some point during the day. So, I caved in and told him he could stay home sick. I explained very clearly that IF he was staying home sick, then that meant NO video games and NO tv until after lunchtime. He just looked at me and said "well what CAN I do?" -- my response -- "get back into bed and rest." So, while his brother's got ready for school, Taz laid down in his bed and went back to sleep.....and he slept until after 11:00 a.m. so perhaps he did have a little bit of a stomach bug or something....who knows? Or perhaps he had just gotten himself so worked up than he was worn out as a result.

Over the weekend we discussed the differences between 8th grade and previous years. I explained how important it was that he be successful this year, make good choices, have good behavior, etc to help prepare him for what High School would be like. I explained that now that he is closer to being an adult, his choices and behaviors need to be more adult-like. Then I had him sit down and write a list of 5 goals for 8th grade....things he would like to achieve before the end of the year. After he wrote down his goals, we sat and talked about ways that he could achieve those goals and what type of choices he would have to make. He seemed to understand the point that I had been trying to make, and appeared to be re-focused and back on track. We discussed the possible mini-rewards that he could earn for making good choices and having good behavior at school each day.....rewards like extra computer time when he got home from school (providing his homework was done first), being allowed extra tv time, and extending his bedtime to a little bit later than his younger siblings.

We survived the weekend and everything indicated that perhaps we were back on track for this week.....then I remembered that the anniversary of 9/11 was this week! Taz has always been super sensitive to the events that took place on 9/11.....and he has always had a higher level of anxiety during this time as a result. So....on Sunday night we talked about it, and he seemed to be ok with everything. Monday went well....the note his aide sent home had many positive comments on it (ok great, we're off to a good start).....Tuesday also went well....which of course surprised me considering it was the anniversary of 9/11. Then last night the History Channel had a special about the 9/11 events....and I was surprised (to say the least) that Taz asked if we could watch it. I thought about it for a moment and then said "ok sure".....I was greatly surprised by how focused and quiet Taz was throughout the show. He sat and watched everything very intently, asking a few questions here and there throughout the show.....then I noticed something on the floor in front of him. It was his "list" notebook.....Taz has become fixated with making lists. He has a list for everything....sports teams, foods, favorite places, etc -- you name it, he has a list for it. 

I asked him during a commercial what he was writing a new list about. He explained that he was writing down the times that each event took place, the flight numbers, and also a list of all of the victim's names....because (and these were his exact words) "it is important that we always remember those who were lost on that day." My eyes welled with tears....was it possible that he was really grasping just how important this day was in our country's history? Did he really understand the significance of it all? I fought back my tears and said "yes honey, our country must always remember and honor those who were lost on this day." After the show ended, he asked me what I remembered about 9/11....and where we were when all of this happened eleven years ago. After he went to bed, I sat and replayed our conversation in my mind.....I thought about how mature he has become and how he really seemed to grasp the importance of everything we had discussed. Perhaps the behavior issues this past week were just a fluke, and this year would be a good year after all? Time will tell....