Hello everyone, just a quick note to wish you all a "Happy New Year"! The holiday season has been a busy one for us, and I've been working all day on housework and food prep.....the in-laws will be stopping by tonight to visit along with their kids.
Anyhow, I'll be back in 2013 with more posts....I'll try to post more often in the new year, but as you all know....when dealing with Autism, you never know just how much "free" time you'll have to do things like a blog. I wish you all a new year filled with good health, happiness, and many blessings!
Cheers!
Monday, December 31, 2012
Monday, December 24, 2012
Letter to Santa
I shared this with my real-life friends along with a photo, and wanted to share it here (sorry no photo). Each year our kids make a card or write a letter for Santa and leave it next to the cookies on Christmas Eve.
There have been very few times that what they wrote on their card or letter has caught me off guard and/or left me speechless. The exceptions being of course the year that my mom & brother passed away, and they wrote letters & made cards for both of them and left a note asking Santa to deliver them to heaven.
I've been wanting to call my very best friend in the whole wide world....she lives in Texas and it's been years since I've seen her. Well I decided to tell the kids to work on their letters/cards earlier this afternoon, that way I could have some "quiet" time to chat on the phone with my friend. All of the kids have been hovering over the tray of Christmas cookies all morning....thus I told them "do your card or letter first, then you can have one cookie."
While my friend & I were chatting, Taz brought his letter out for me to read & double check his spelling. What he had written in his letter blew me away -- I read it while I listened to my friend talk about their holiday plans, and I actually gasped out loud and said "Oh my God!" -- my friend said "what, what's wrong?" and I explained about the "tradition" the kids have of writing a letter to Santa, then began to read Taz's letter to her.
This is what his letter said....and yes, he wrote this all by himself with no input from anyone else:
"Dear Santa, if you have time to stop at Heaven, give presents to the 26 victims who died at Sandy Hook Elementary school for me. Will you do that for me please? Can you also do it for grandma and uncle Frank too? Thank you, love Taz"
Boy talk about something that just blew my mind! Both my friend and I were in tears and for a moment we were both silent. I pulled myself together, looked at Taz and said "why did you write that?" and he said "because, it makes me sad that they won't be here to celebrate Christmas with their families, so maybe if they have presents they can celebrate in heaven."
Then he smiled his sweet smile and said "may I have my cookie now?" My friend on the other end of the phone heard him and said "Oh my God, that was so sweet -- give that boy the whole tray of cookies!" He just stood there patiently waiting for my response....I was trying to fight the tears that were welling up in my eyes, so instead of saying something I just pointed to the cookies and gestured for him to take "just one".
As I tried to pull myself together and continue the phone conversation with my friend, son #3 brought out his item.....a letter he had written to his grandma (my mom, who passed away a little while ago). On the front was a note asking Santa to deliver it to her in heaven. On the inside he had written a letter asking how she liked heaven, and telling her how this year has gone (all about school, our vacation, etc) -- he ended it with "I love you and miss you very much grandma".....Sheesh....are these kids trying to turn me into a blubbering ball of goo on the floor today or what?!
Boy if they keep this up, I may have to drink Santa's beverage myself! LOL Oh for those who don't know, our "tradition" is to leave some cookies and a beer for Santa.....no glass of milk here, just a beer....because we figure by the time Santa goes all over the world and has such a stressful night, he'll need something to help him relax. Thus he gets a beer when he comes to our house. But if the kids keep this up, I may have to just drink that beer myself and tell Santa tough luck.
I hope you all have a safe & blessed holiday, whether you celebrate Christmas or something else. And just in case I don't post anything before the New Year.....have a safe & very Happy New Year! May 2013 hold many blessings for you all.
There have been very few times that what they wrote on their card or letter has caught me off guard and/or left me speechless. The exceptions being of course the year that my mom & brother passed away, and they wrote letters & made cards for both of them and left a note asking Santa to deliver them to heaven.
I've been wanting to call my very best friend in the whole wide world....she lives in Texas and it's been years since I've seen her. Well I decided to tell the kids to work on their letters/cards earlier this afternoon, that way I could have some "quiet" time to chat on the phone with my friend. All of the kids have been hovering over the tray of Christmas cookies all morning....thus I told them "do your card or letter first, then you can have one cookie."
While my friend & I were chatting, Taz brought his letter out for me to read & double check his spelling. What he had written in his letter blew me away -- I read it while I listened to my friend talk about their holiday plans, and I actually gasped out loud and said "Oh my God!" -- my friend said "what, what's wrong?" and I explained about the "tradition" the kids have of writing a letter to Santa, then began to read Taz's letter to her.
This is what his letter said....and yes, he wrote this all by himself with no input from anyone else:
"Dear Santa, if you have time to stop at Heaven, give presents to the 26 victims who died at Sandy Hook Elementary school for me. Will you do that for me please? Can you also do it for grandma and uncle Frank too? Thank you, love Taz"
Boy talk about something that just blew my mind! Both my friend and I were in tears and for a moment we were both silent. I pulled myself together, looked at Taz and said "why did you write that?" and he said "because, it makes me sad that they won't be here to celebrate Christmas with their families, so maybe if they have presents they can celebrate in heaven."
Then he smiled his sweet smile and said "may I have my cookie now?" My friend on the other end of the phone heard him and said "Oh my God, that was so sweet -- give that boy the whole tray of cookies!" He just stood there patiently waiting for my response....I was trying to fight the tears that were welling up in my eyes, so instead of saying something I just pointed to the cookies and gestured for him to take "just one".
As I tried to pull myself together and continue the phone conversation with my friend, son #3 brought out his item.....a letter he had written to his grandma (my mom, who passed away a little while ago). On the front was a note asking Santa to deliver it to her in heaven. On the inside he had written a letter asking how she liked heaven, and telling her how this year has gone (all about school, our vacation, etc) -- he ended it with "I love you and miss you very much grandma".....Sheesh....are these kids trying to turn me into a blubbering ball of goo on the floor today or what?!
Boy if they keep this up, I may have to drink Santa's beverage myself! LOL Oh for those who don't know, our "tradition" is to leave some cookies and a beer for Santa.....no glass of milk here, just a beer....because we figure by the time Santa goes all over the world and has such a stressful night, he'll need something to help him relax. Thus he gets a beer when he comes to our house. But if the kids keep this up, I may have to just drink that beer myself and tell Santa tough luck.
I hope you all have a safe & blessed holiday, whether you celebrate Christmas or something else. And just in case I don't post anything before the New Year.....have a safe & very Happy New Year! May 2013 hold many blessings for you all.
Sunday, December 16, 2012
Social Story - About Newton, CT
On Friday December 14th, 2012....a man entered the Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, CT and took the lives of 26 people....20 young children and 6 adults. My heart aches for the community of Newtown, and all of you are in my thoughts and prayers. Out of respect for the families of the victims, I will not post their names here....nor will I mention the name of the man responsible for this horrible event. The purpose of this blog post is to share the social story that I created for my ASD son, to help explain it all to him and his NT brothers.
Like many others, upon hearing the news of this horrible event....I cried and asked how something like this could happen? As a parent, I worried about how my children would respond to the news.....especially my ASD son. I struggled with the "do I tell them or do I not?" question.....and decided that I would do my best to keep them from seeing the news reports and all of the stuff that has been online this weekend. Some may argue that it was the wrong choice...but at the time, I questioned whether or not they would understand it all and if hearing the news would scare them to the point that they wouldn't want to return to school.
I've thought about it all weekend.....I've thought about the precious children who died that day....I've thought about the staff members at the school and the first responders. I've cried, I've prayed, and I haven't really slept since hearing the news on TV. Today as I thought about it, I decided that I would rather have my children hear about it from me versus some kid on the bus or someone at school. But how do you explain something like this to a child....especially a child with Autism? After spending some time trying to decide what I would say, I began to look online for some clip art....and created the following social story.
*Disclaimer* -- Please keep in mind, all of the social stories that I write are done so for my son and protected by the copyright I have. I do NOT own the clip art however, so please respect all copyright laws and do not duplicate this social story for profit purposes or any other "negative" purposes. You may print a copy for personal use only. I am sharing this one here because it may help someone else with explaining to their child what happened at Sandy Hook Elementary. Any questions please ask.
Ok, so here is the social story:
******(page 1)******
Do you know where Connecticut
**************(page 3)****************
***********(page 5)***************
***********(page 6)**********
How do you feel?
********(page 7)********
*******(page 8)*********
Like many others, upon hearing the news of this horrible event....I cried and asked how something like this could happen? As a parent, I worried about how my children would respond to the news.....especially my ASD son. I struggled with the "do I tell them or do I not?" question.....and decided that I would do my best to keep them from seeing the news reports and all of the stuff that has been online this weekend. Some may argue that it was the wrong choice...but at the time, I questioned whether or not they would understand it all and if hearing the news would scare them to the point that they wouldn't want to return to school.
I've thought about it all weekend.....I've thought about the precious children who died that day....I've thought about the staff members at the school and the first responders. I've cried, I've prayed, and I haven't really slept since hearing the news on TV. Today as I thought about it, I decided that I would rather have my children hear about it from me versus some kid on the bus or someone at school. But how do you explain something like this to a child....especially a child with Autism? After spending some time trying to decide what I would say, I began to look online for some clip art....and created the following social story.
*Disclaimer* -- Please keep in mind, all of the social stories that I write are done so for my son and protected by the copyright I have. I do NOT own the clip art however, so please respect all copyright laws and do not duplicate this social story for profit purposes or any other "negative" purposes. You may print a copy for personal use only. I am sharing this one here because it may help someone else with explaining to their child what happened at Sandy Hook Elementary. Any questions please ask.
Ok, so here is the social story:
******(page 1)******
in Newtown , Connecticut
******(page 2)******
A man went to the Sandy Hook Elementary School
The man killed 6 adults and 20 children.
*************(page 4)*************
Although 26 people died, many people were kept safe because of what several heroes did on that day. Do you know what a hero is?
He can NOT hurt anyone else.
The danger is OVER. You are SAFE, you do NOT have to feel scared.
Some people were angry.
How do you feel?
1. Follow the rules.
2. Have practice drills.
3. Listen to your teacher & other adults.
What other things can you do to stay safe?
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Well this is something new....
Yes peeps, it's me....I actually have some "free time" to update the blog....gasp....yes I know, scary isn't it? Since Taz has been at the new school in the ASD program, I actually have more free time during the day. And to be honest, I really don't know what to do with myself! Ok, yes I have a lot to do....laundry, dishes, sweep the floors, etc -- but the fact of the matter is, unlike before I now actually have time during the day to do all of it!
This is all so strange and new.....I'm not really sure how I'm adjusting to it all. Taz's case worker came for a home visit today, and I discussed it all with her. Did I tell you about the case worker? Ok, short version: since Taz began seeing the psych doctor again, he qualified for a program thus now we have a case worker/respite person who comes to the house once a week to discuss things and all of the various services/programs that are available. She also visits Taz at school 1 day each week to work with him.
As I told her today, this is all so foreign to me....for years people have said "who's his case worker?" or "do you have a case worker?"....to which I'd always respond with "no, what's the purpose of that?"....for years we've been on our own. Now we have someone here -- someone who can provide info in regards to the "what comes next after high school?" and the millions of other questions I have....we have someone now who will provide support and help guide us through all of the things we will need to do and prepare for once Taz becomes an adult. We have someone who can help with coordinating appointments, therapy, IEP's, etc. For the first time since starting this journey....we aren't alone, we have a support network and someone to be there with an extra "safety net"......it's strange, and it has taken some getting used to. I'm so used to flying solo, it's been difficult adjusting to the fact that someone is actually THERE for US!
The other thing I mentioned to her today is the fact that it is so hard for me to adjust to the fact that Taz is actually doing well in school and my phone isn't ringing on a daily basis with some frantic staff member screaming "come pick him up!" -- for years that has been my life....like a fireman waiting for that alarm to go off, I sit on pins and needles waiting for the phone to ring. For years I couldn't plan anything during the day -- not even a trip to the grocery store, because it never failed.....as soon as I'd get 1/2 way through the store with a cart partially full of items, my phone would ring and I'd have to run to pick Taz up for whatever reason. For the first time in years, he's in a program where the staff and teacher KNOW how to deal with issues when & if they arise (there have been very few), and if something happens they handle it -- they don't rush to send him home.....they don't call me in a panic expecting me to fix everything. Thus it is taking some time for me to get used to the fact that he's doing well and no one is calling me. It is taking some time to get used to the fact that I actually CAN do things during the day -- I can have some "me" time -- for lack of better wording, I can have a "life" again. She laughed and said "yes mom, you can relax now -- you don't have to do it all on your own." Of course I made her laugh when I said "please give me something to do -- call me -- I feel so lost!"
Needless to say, she is amazed that we made it this far without having a support network. She is amazed that Taz is doing so well and responds to directions, etc (he's actually doing all of his classwork without any issues, and most of the time he's the first one to finish things!) She actually made me blush today when she said that I do so much more than 99% of the other parents of her clients. I don't feel like some supermom though.....this is my job, this is what I have to do. She was surprised that, instead of acting all stuck up over her compliments instead I said "I just wish there were more hours in the day, because I know there is so much more I could do." It's true -- there are so many things I want to do, but over the years I just haven't had the time.....I have to try to balance myself between Taz and the other 3 kids. At that moment the realization hit me....if Taz continues to do well in this program, then I might actually have the time to do the things I want to do. Wow!
Needless to say, Taz has adjusted to the new program and school quite well.....he's more himself now.....seems more comfortable and definitely has a lot less anxiety. It's almost like he is back to being the little boy that he was when we decided to stop the meds....like someone flipped a switch, and he is himself again. I think it may take some more time for me to adjust to all of this though.....I've been "on call" for so long, I don't know what I'll do with my time during the day now.....I'm sure I'll think of something. Like perhaps actually spending some time writing the social stories that have been floating around in my head. Perhaps I'll finally finish putting all of the stuff in the kid's baby books.....or dust off my sewing machine and finish making the quilts that I started for them a few years ago. Of course a part of me knows that no matter what, I'll always feel like I'm still "on call" -- and will keep the phone close by just in case it rings.
This is all so strange and new.....I'm not really sure how I'm adjusting to it all. Taz's case worker came for a home visit today, and I discussed it all with her. Did I tell you about the case worker? Ok, short version: since Taz began seeing the psych doctor again, he qualified for a program thus now we have a case worker/respite person who comes to the house once a week to discuss things and all of the various services/programs that are available. She also visits Taz at school 1 day each week to work with him.
As I told her today, this is all so foreign to me....for years people have said "who's his case worker?" or "do you have a case worker?"....to which I'd always respond with "no, what's the purpose of that?"....for years we've been on our own. Now we have someone here -- someone who can provide info in regards to the "what comes next after high school?" and the millions of other questions I have....we have someone now who will provide support and help guide us through all of the things we will need to do and prepare for once Taz becomes an adult. We have someone who can help with coordinating appointments, therapy, IEP's, etc. For the first time since starting this journey....we aren't alone, we have a support network and someone to be there with an extra "safety net"......it's strange, and it has taken some getting used to. I'm so used to flying solo, it's been difficult adjusting to the fact that someone is actually THERE for US!
The other thing I mentioned to her today is the fact that it is so hard for me to adjust to the fact that Taz is actually doing well in school and my phone isn't ringing on a daily basis with some frantic staff member screaming "come pick him up!" -- for years that has been my life....like a fireman waiting for that alarm to go off, I sit on pins and needles waiting for the phone to ring. For years I couldn't plan anything during the day -- not even a trip to the grocery store, because it never failed.....as soon as I'd get 1/2 way through the store with a cart partially full of items, my phone would ring and I'd have to run to pick Taz up for whatever reason. For the first time in years, he's in a program where the staff and teacher KNOW how to deal with issues when & if they arise (there have been very few), and if something happens they handle it -- they don't rush to send him home.....they don't call me in a panic expecting me to fix everything. Thus it is taking some time for me to get used to the fact that he's doing well and no one is calling me. It is taking some time to get used to the fact that I actually CAN do things during the day -- I can have some "me" time -- for lack of better wording, I can have a "life" again. She laughed and said "yes mom, you can relax now -- you don't have to do it all on your own." Of course I made her laugh when I said "please give me something to do -- call me -- I feel so lost!"
Needless to say, she is amazed that we made it this far without having a support network. She is amazed that Taz is doing so well and responds to directions, etc (he's actually doing all of his classwork without any issues, and most of the time he's the first one to finish things!) She actually made me blush today when she said that I do so much more than 99% of the other parents of her clients. I don't feel like some supermom though.....this is my job, this is what I have to do. She was surprised that, instead of acting all stuck up over her compliments instead I said "I just wish there were more hours in the day, because I know there is so much more I could do." It's true -- there are so many things I want to do, but over the years I just haven't had the time.....I have to try to balance myself between Taz and the other 3 kids. At that moment the realization hit me....if Taz continues to do well in this program, then I might actually have the time to do the things I want to do. Wow!
Needless to say, Taz has adjusted to the new program and school quite well.....he's more himself now.....seems more comfortable and definitely has a lot less anxiety. It's almost like he is back to being the little boy that he was when we decided to stop the meds....like someone flipped a switch, and he is himself again. I think it may take some more time for me to adjust to all of this though.....I've been "on call" for so long, I don't know what I'll do with my time during the day now.....I'm sure I'll think of something. Like perhaps actually spending some time writing the social stories that have been floating around in my head. Perhaps I'll finally finish putting all of the stuff in the kid's baby books.....or dust off my sewing machine and finish making the quilts that I started for them a few years ago. Of course a part of me knows that no matter what, I'll always feel like I'm still "on call" -- and will keep the phone close by just in case it rings.
Monday, December 3, 2012
I'm Back
Wow, has it really been THAT long since my last blog post?! Sorry about that folks...as I mentioned the last time, things have been hella busy around here. I guess in the chaos of life, the blog has sort of taken a "back seat" on my list of priorities.....just not enough hours in the day....but I'll try to do better, I promise.
Ok, now to catch up a bit.....Taz started attending the new school in late November. Aside from a few "adjustment" issues, things have gone well thus far (keeping my fingers crossed as I type that so I don't jinx things). His aide, Miss "A" was there for the first week to help with the transition, and now Taz has a new aide....a male....can't remember his name at the moment, but they seem to work well together from what I've been told. The ASD classroom teacher is AWESOME....I can not even describe how much I just LOVE that woman thus far. Yes I said "thus far" cause you never know....she may do something to annoy me between now & the next time I post....but for now, I just adore her.
She called one day just to let me know that Taz was a bit on edge but in her words they were "dealing with it".....he made it through the day and rode the bus home without issues. I'll admit, it was strange having someone call just to give me a head's up, yet not begging or demanding that I come pick him up.....very odd experience indeed. From the reports I've received thus far, Taz is adjusting to everything well and has been doing all of his work....and he really enjoyed their first "swim day" & time in the pool. I guess my only "complaint" would be -- there isn't a huge amount of communication.
At his previous school, Miss "A" had a one-page form/report sheet that she'd send home with Taz every day.....there was a spot for each class hour and a comment line, thus she'd tell me via the form how his day went and if there were any issues, any homework assignments, etc. In many was I miss that form and level of communication. Taz's current teacher has a small pocket sized journal that she writes in, but the level of information that is in it isn't much.....thus in some ways I feel as though there isn't enough communication. But, I guess in some ways that is good -- if he's had a good day and did all of his work, then just the simple comment of "good day" written on the page is enough right?
There are so many things that I'll have to adjust to......like actually having some "me" time during the day, and time to get housework and errands done without having to worry about the phone ringing off the hook! A week or so ago I actually took a NAP during the day....gasp, yes I know it's true! Of course I hadn't gotten much sleep that week because things had been so crazy busy, thus on that day I really needed a nap.....and it was so nice to actually sleep for an hour.
Oh also, not sure if I mentioned it or not....we had our first visit with the new shrink doc. She said that for now we'll hold off going the medication route, so that's another positive thing. She felt that Taz's issues were a combination of puberty hormones and the fact that his former school acted like jerks whenever an issue would occur. Due to this new program/class that Taz is in, and now having a shrink doc....we also have a "case worker" person as part of our team as well. This is yet another new adjustment thing for me....we've never had a case worker before. Apparently she's observed Taz in his new classroom a few times thus far, and she'll be coming here tomorrow for a "home visit". Yikes....I really hate having people I don't really know that well in my house.....just makes me feel uncomfortable. Things were so busy this weekend, and the house looks like hell....so the rest of my day will be spent in "power clean" mode.
Anyhow, just wanted to update things and let you all know that I'm still alive and kicking. Will try to post on a regular basis more often.....
Ok, now to catch up a bit.....Taz started attending the new school in late November. Aside from a few "adjustment" issues, things have gone well thus far (keeping my fingers crossed as I type that so I don't jinx things). His aide, Miss "A" was there for the first week to help with the transition, and now Taz has a new aide....a male....can't remember his name at the moment, but they seem to work well together from what I've been told. The ASD classroom teacher is AWESOME....I can not even describe how much I just LOVE that woman thus far. Yes I said "thus far" cause you never know....she may do something to annoy me between now & the next time I post....but for now, I just adore her.
She called one day just to let me know that Taz was a bit on edge but in her words they were "dealing with it".....he made it through the day and rode the bus home without issues. I'll admit, it was strange having someone call just to give me a head's up, yet not begging or demanding that I come pick him up.....very odd experience indeed. From the reports I've received thus far, Taz is adjusting to everything well and has been doing all of his work....and he really enjoyed their first "swim day" & time in the pool. I guess my only "complaint" would be -- there isn't a huge amount of communication.
At his previous school, Miss "A" had a one-page form/report sheet that she'd send home with Taz every day.....there was a spot for each class hour and a comment line, thus she'd tell me via the form how his day went and if there were any issues, any homework assignments, etc. In many was I miss that form and level of communication. Taz's current teacher has a small pocket sized journal that she writes in, but the level of information that is in it isn't much.....thus in some ways I feel as though there isn't enough communication. But, I guess in some ways that is good -- if he's had a good day and did all of his work, then just the simple comment of "good day" written on the page is enough right?
There are so many things that I'll have to adjust to......like actually having some "me" time during the day, and time to get housework and errands done without having to worry about the phone ringing off the hook! A week or so ago I actually took a NAP during the day....gasp, yes I know it's true! Of course I hadn't gotten much sleep that week because things had been so crazy busy, thus on that day I really needed a nap.....and it was so nice to actually sleep for an hour.
Oh also, not sure if I mentioned it or not....we had our first visit with the new shrink doc. She said that for now we'll hold off going the medication route, so that's another positive thing. She felt that Taz's issues were a combination of puberty hormones and the fact that his former school acted like jerks whenever an issue would occur. Due to this new program/class that Taz is in, and now having a shrink doc....we also have a "case worker" person as part of our team as well. This is yet another new adjustment thing for me....we've never had a case worker before. Apparently she's observed Taz in his new classroom a few times thus far, and she'll be coming here tomorrow for a "home visit". Yikes....I really hate having people I don't really know that well in my house.....just makes me feel uncomfortable. Things were so busy this weekend, and the house looks like hell....so the rest of my day will be spent in "power clean" mode.
Anyhow, just wanted to update things and let you all know that I'm still alive and kicking. Will try to post on a regular basis more often.....
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