8th Grade - week #3

Well it's been another week.....some of it has been good, some of it has been bad....but thus far we've survived. I will admit that I am exhausted -- mentally, emotionally, and physically. Thus far this month has NOT gone the way I had hoped and planned.

Vehicle repair issues, the water pump for our house having issues, and Taz's erratic behavior at school.....sigh, I'm really starting to understand why some people drink to escape their problems. If only it were that simple -- if only a glass of wine could make everything better. But unfortunately it doesn't work that way, at least not in our world.....it would take a whole lot more than a glass of wine to fix all of this! Of course a friend of mine allowed me to vent the other day, and her remarks made me chuckle a bit...."oh girl, sounds like you need an entire vineyard!" 

If only it were that easy.....if only there were such a simple fix. Sigh....alas, not in my world. As you are aware, we've been dealing with the joys of puberty and all of the hormones that create chaos in the body and mind of every teenager. Taz has had good days and bad days.....the good days have been amazing, and the bad days have been filled with behaviors that just make me shake my head and ask "WTF is going on?!?" Like for example, one day he had behavior issues and decided to urinate in the corner (instead of using the toilet or urinal) of the school restroom.....sigh....on another difficult day, he was in the mood to hit and kick. He got off the bus and decided to get right in the face of the biggest and baddest kid at the Middle School. Thank God that kid was a general ed student who understood about Taz & his issues....and thankfully the kid made the choice to refrain from knocking Taz flat on his ass! Seriously though, that kid was HUGE -- he's been held back at least twice, he's very tall and stocky built, and has more facial hair than most of the men on staff at the school.....even the freakin' principal is scared of that kid! A few staff members refer to that kid as "Godzilla".

Then yesterday Taz decided to exhibit somewhat "normal" teenage behavior....he became jealous when one of his female friends started talking with another guy in class. The only problem being is that "other guy" is also an AI student who has a very VERY short fuse and is a big kid as well (I think he must be related to Godzilla). Taz's aide and a few other staff members quickly noticed that things were about to turn ugly really fast....and they removed Taz from the room before anything bad could happen. By all reports, Taz is lucky because of the "other guy" a.k.a. Godzilla Junior would have snapped, and he could have seriously injured Taz. Apparently Godzilla Junior went off on another student last year, and it took 3 full grown men to pull him off of the student. Thus it scares the crap out of me that Taz was "this close" to being the next target.....and he put himself into the situation to begin with by getting jealous and upset. On the drive home I just looked at him and said "seriously dude, do you have a death wish?!?! What's up with you trying to get into the face and start something with 2 of the biggest baddest kids in your school?"

This morning my mild sinus headache was borderline migraine, and what had started out earlier in the week as some mild sinus congestion was now a full blown sinus infection.....needless to say, I feel like crap and wasn't in the mood to deal with any crap this morning. Of course Taz picked up on that quickly and decided to try to push my buttons. He started to claim he didn't feel good and needed to stay home from school.....of course I wasn't buying it and told him to get up and get himself ready. He decided to kick things up a notch, and went into the bathroom and forced himself to vomit. Then said "see mom, I really am sick." I just shook my head and said "no you're not, you did that on purpose -- you know you're faking it, I know you're faking it. I'm not in the mood to deal with this so are you going to go to school and have a good day or not?" Then he became defiant and screamed at me "no I'm not going to school!" -- my response -- "ok, fine then go back to bed but know this first -- there will be NO tv or video games today. If you're sick, then go back to bed."

At that point son #2 was in the process of getting himself dressed and ready for his bus that would arrive shortly after Taz's. He could see the look of frustration on my face....and he knew I felt beat down and physically exhausted. Thus he decided to step in and try to help (God bless him!). He went into Taz's room and reminded his big brother that tonight was a home football game. He said "well I guess none of us can go if you're going to stay home from school and pull this crap." Hmmm...that got Taz's attention! Football game, what football game?!? Son #2 said "well remember on the announcements the other day, tonight's game is student night -- they will have a special tailgate meal, and stuff they are giving away...plus ticket prices at the gate are cheaper than normal games. IF you weren't trying to fake being sick, making bad choices and having bad behavior -- then we might be able to go to the game. But now that's not gonna happen, the only way that would happen is IF you go to school, have a good day, and make good choices." Hmmm....FOOTBALL....now THAT got Taz's attention.

Taz came out of his room and asked if we could go to the game -- my response -- "not if you're going to pull this crap and stay home sick." You could see the wheels of thought starting to click and he said "well if I go to school, can we go to the game tonight?" With a firm voice I said "well that will depend, you have to make good choices at school and have good behavior ALL day." Then I reminded him of the fact that I had already called his bus driver and told her that he wouldn't be attending school today. Son #2 said "that's ok, if you hurry and get ready you can ride my bus with me." Ummmm, no he can't....no way was I going to put Taz on a general ed bus! I looked at both of them and said "just hurry up and I'll drive you both to school" then informed hubby that he'd have to finish getting the 2 younger boys ready for their bus. Well son #2 helped Taz get ready & gather up all of his school stuff....apparently they had both tuned out to my response of "I'll drive you to school", because as I was attempting to put my shoes on they were both heading out the door. I said "get in the truck, I'll be out in a minute".....Taz was already out the door.

As I walked outside and began to open the door to my truck, I noticed the bus for son #2 was at the end of the driveway....oh crap, I had forgotten to call and tell them that I'd be driving him in with Taz. I waved my arms and shouted "go ahead and go"...then started to get into the truck and realized that Taz wasn't there! I looked at son #2 and said "where is your brother?" then we both said "oh crap" as we realized -- Taz had gotten on son #2's bus!
I quickly sprinted down the very long driveway screaming "wait, don't go yet!" -- thank God the bus driver had been waiting, just sitting there thinking that son #2 was on his way. I ran up to the bus and said "is Taz on here?!" -- the driver laughed and said "yeah, he got on and I told him 'you don't ride my bus, where is your brother?' -- he looked at me and said 'I'm riding with him today, don't worry he's coming' -- then he proceeded to find a seat and sit down." I couldn't help but laugh....the poor driver, she looked so freaked out! She said "I tried to tell him that he can't ride my bus because he's an AI student, but he didn't seem to get it and just went and sat down. He's a big kid, I didn't want to argue with him and wasn't sure what to do." I apologized to her and explained that there had been some confusion this morning & I'd be driving both of the boys to school, then I thanked her for waiting and not making things worse by trying to kick Taz off of the bus.

Taz got up from his seat and exited the bus without an issue....that poor driver, she still had that "deer in the headlights" look though....I'd have to do some serious sucking up later on to make this up to her. On the drive to school son #2 and I both explained to Taz that if he wanted to go to the football game tonight, he would HAVE to have good behavior at school all day, make good choices, and ride his own bus home. He seemed to get what we were saying....and knock on wood, thus far no calls from the school as of yet, so I'm hoping that means he's doing ok today. God bless son #2 for stepping in this morning and helping out.....for being able to re-direct his brother and make him change his attitude about going to school, especially when I felt so beat down and was ready to give up just to avoid having a battle. Of course now I'm thinking about the football game....yikes, what the hell was I thinking this morning?!?! Agreeing to take 4 kids to a high school football game by myself (hubby has to work)?! I must be losing my mind....

Of course the other issue running through my head at the moment.....with the way Taz's behavior has been thus far this school year, we have to look at other possible options. We've tried everything thus far, and nothing has worked....oh some things do work as good behavior incentives, but that only lasts for a day or two. His anxiety has been much higher and I know the puberty hormones are playing a big roll in all of this.....thus after a long talk, hubby and I agreed that as much as we don't want to, we have to look at the possibility of putting Taz on some type of anxiety medication. Perhaps for just a short term until all of this puberty stuff is under control.....but we both agreed that at this point we are out of options and need to do something. I absolutely HATE the thought of having to go back to medication, especially because of the issues we've had with it in the past and the heart problem the last med caused....but at this point, what else can we do? Where do you go once you've exhausted every other possible option? Sigh.....welcome to Autism the Teen Years!