It's just too hot outside....I really have no energy today, but thought I'd share a funny that happened the other morning. Well as most ASD parents can testify to.....while on this journey, you just HAVE to have a sense of humor....sometimes it develops into a very warped sense of humor. Also, you tend to find humor in some of the most bizzare things.
Example.....our cat "Mr. Fatty" a.k.a. "Scooter" has such a weird personality, and he's a Diva in some ways due to being so spoiled. And although he has a water dish and receives fresh drinking water every day, he still likes to jump up on the sink and drink from the faucet at least 1-2 times per day. Amazingly, for his size he's quite limber. He will sit there, perched on the counter and "meow" until you turn the faucet on for him....and the water has to be turned on to just the right level....not too much of a water stream and not too little. I swear sometimes when he's meowing at me, it's almost like he's really trying to talk.
Also, he expects his litter box to be cleaned a certain way -- and if he thinks it's not scooped enough, he will find ways to let us know his displeasure (poop on the floor right next to the litter box, etc). Well usually on trash day, the litterboxes are completely changed -- old litter dumped out, litterboxes cleaned and new litter put into them. Of course "Scooter" and "Miss Diva" have their own litterboxes as well as seperate food & water dishes. Heaven forbid if they have to poop in the same box or eat/drink from the same dish! Well this week I "forgot" to change out the litterboxes......it's been a busy week, that's the only excuse I have. Well suffice to say, "Scooter" (Mr. Fatty) was not pleased.....
The other morning I was extremely tired, and as I stood in the kitchen trying to decide if I should make some coffee or just go back to bed....hubby woke up and came walking out to the kitchen. He could tell how tired I was, so he began to make the coffee. This is the verbal exchange that took place:
Hubby: "how did you sleep?"
Me: "not that well....and you?"
Hubby: "ok I guess....oh by the way, you forgot to change the litterboxes didn't you?"
Me: "why?"
Hubby: "well Scooter isn't happy....he pooped in his drink sink."
WHAT?!?!
Me: "are you freakin' kiddding me? Did you clean the sink & remove the turd?"
Him: "no, I wanted you to see it so you could have a talk with Scooter."
Me: "I've seen cat turds before, you didn't have to leave it for me."
Him: "well I figured you'd need to see it so you could have a talk with the cat about it."
Me: "seriously? like the freakin' cat is going to give a happy wet rat's ass what I have to say about him pooping in the sink. gee thanks, what am I now the cat turd whisperer?"
Seriously? Like I'm going to lecture the cat about where he decides to poop, and the cat will actually listen to me. I just stood there thinking....why does this type of stuff happen when I'm tired and haven't had a chance to consume any coffee yet? Oh yeah, and by the way....thanks for being a jerk and leaving the turd in the sink for me to clean out. Sigh....I can already tell it's going to be a long day.
So I go into the other room to where the cat's drink sink is.....and begin to lecture the cat. Yes, I actually lectured the cat....he just sat there with this snarky look on his little cat face, meowing at me almost as if he was saying "blah blah blah - just clean my litterbox already." I swear he even rolled his eyes at me! As I'm lecturing him, I look into the sink for the "evidence" -- fully expecting to find a cat turd. But instead I see this black piece of plastic -- it's one of the mini Star Wars ink pens that came as a prize in one of the many boxes of cereal I had bought a few weeks ago for the kids. So no cat turd -- just a mini Darth Maul ink pen that apparently looks a lot like a cat turd at 5:30 in the morning when my hubby strolls through without his glasses on. Seriously?! Time for hubby to get his eyes checked.
I pick up the turd shaped ink pen, apologize to the cat profusely (now he'll really have an attitude since he just got a major lecture for no reason)....and walk back out to the kitchen where my oh so innocent husband is standing with a cup of coffee. I'm tempted to just drop the turd shaped ink pen into his coffee cup, but I don't.....instead I toss it at him and say "since when does Darth Maul look like a cat turd?" Hubby just laughs......and for the rest of the day we take turns tormenting each other with that stupid Darth Maul cat turd shaped mini ink pen and apologizing to the cat to avoid having him seek payback......yes we have warped senses of humor and a very spoiled fat cat, and I have no doubt that the cat will find a way to pay us back.
Ok perhaps you won't see the humor in any of this.....but I still chuckle thinking about it. No wonder Darth Maul was a bad guy....I'm sure it's hard to be anything but when you look like a cat turd.
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