Middle School

We survived Fifth grade....and worked to prepare our son for the transition to Sixth grade. Not only would this transition involve yet another new school building (attending class at the Middle School), but also a whole new "can of worms" -- having to wake up earlier each day (the MS & HS kids start an hour earlier than the Elm kids, and get out an hour earlier), having to change classes each hour, being around other hormone filled teenagers, new teachers to deal with, new staff to deal with, a new aide, and riding the bus with High School students.

As if that wasn't bad enough, we found out at the very last minute that our ISD rep had been offered a new job -- thus the district was in the process of trying to fill his position and we had no clue who the new guy would be. The other TA/ISD person who rotated between the buildings, working with all of the AI students was planning to retire....thus the school district would also be looking for someone new to fill his position. Our "go to" people -- the two guys we always had in our corner -- were leaving and we had no clue who would replace them! Neither one of them had the guts to tell us they were leaving, we had to hear it "through the grapevine".....they didn't even bother to say goodbye! Boy talk about feeling totally abandoned! As we prepared for Sixth grade, our "safety net" and "go to" people were gone -- we were completely on our own! We met with the new "team".....created our own transition story -- which of course I've had to create every story that has been used thus far to date, so that wasn't anything new -- but it really stunk trying to enter the whole Middle School transition with no one to guide us, no one to provide insight or info.....

The Sixth grade was a struggle.....but regardless of each hurdle we had to jump and each new battle we had to fight, we did what was best for our son. The "team" quickly learned who I was -- they learned that I would be there to help in any way possible and would be their best friend -- their "go to" person -- or if they tried to push their ideas/plans too far (like the numerous "hints" that perhaps we should put our son back on medication) -- well suffice to say they quickly learned that I could also become their biggest nightmare. They learned just how involved I am -- they learned just how vocal I am -- and they learned very quickly that I'm not like some parents that can be easily bullied or swayed into accepting their mantra of "we know what is best for your child". They also learned that although they could push me to the point of tears on some days -- they did not want to try their "bully" tactics on my husband! Like the lion that calmly stalks it's prey.....they saw first hand at one meeting just how much my husband can push back! My husband will go to hell and back -- fight the devil himself -- for our children.

So yes, aside from the many new battles we had to fight -- and the numerous hurdles we had to jump, our son seemed to do ok with the class changes and challenges of Middle School. There were some issues here and there, a few meltdowns....but despite it all, he thrived academically. All of his classes were general education classes -- he did very well, especially in Math. We found out later that he was the ONLY Sixth grade AI student to make the honor roll for the entire year. We were thrilled by that news....and so were his former teachers at LTC. Of course as they say, nothing good lasts forever......just as things were starting to calm down and go well, life threw a few new hurdles into our path. 

Our son was having problems with his ears, and we discovered that one of the tubes never came out -- it was fused to his eardrum and causing pain & problems.  He would require surgery as soon as possible to avoid having permanent damage done to his hearing. While he was recovering from surgery, life threw us another curve ball.....my brother Frank, our son's beloved uncle & biggest supporter -- had cancer. Frank had battled cancer on & off for almost two years -- we thought the worst was over and he was finally in remission -- we were hopeful that this time he had beaten the cancer for good. But our hopes were quickly dashed.....and it wouldn't be long before our hearts would be broken. The cancer was back -- and this time there was nothing the doctors could do. 

The only bright side to this -- if you want to call it a bright side -- is that we had participated in the Relay for Life ACS event each year for the past 8 years, so our son Taz understood on some level what cancer was. That year, when we went to Relay....instead of trying to run off or do something that would stress me out like he had done in previous years, Taz stayed right at our booth & helped out. He walked the track with us, and even when we were tired and ready for a break....he wanted to keep going. When I'd ask him why, he would say "because I'm walking for uncle Frank." He was so proud of the fact that he had gotten a t-shirt for his uncle.....and we gave it to him later that month when we saw him. We spent time with Frank and family in November of that year, and although you could tell that he was weak and worn down....he laughed and joked with us and the kids. I cherish those memories now and am thankful we had that time to spend together.

My brother had told me during that visit in November....if something were to happen, he did not what me or the children to be there at the end -- Frank went as far as to make me promise him, that when the time came -- I would not be there. He knew how hard it would be, especially for our son "Taz"....and he wanted to spare our kids as much pain as possible. Our mother - Taz's grandmother - had developed Alzheimer's a few years early, and she wasn't doing well either at the time. Thus my brother knew that we would have many new challenges to deal with soon enough.....and if the worst were to happen, then he wanted to spare our children the pain of having to watch their uncle die. Typical big brother -- still trying to protect me as much as he could even though I was a grown adult. Just like our father (who died of cancer years before my kids were even born), Frank put the needs of my children, especially Taz -- before his own. Although it broke my heart to not be at his side when he took his final breath....I kept my promise. I take comfort in the fact that I was at least able to speak to him on the phone right before he died, so he was able to hear my voice as I said "I love you big brother" one last time.

I wasn't there by Frank's side that cold February day in the hospital when he took his final breath and left this earth.....I kept my promise. The kids were at school when the phone call came telling me that he had died. I fell to my knees and just sobbed. Although it felt like someone had just ripped the heart from my chest, I had to push aside my own grief and feelings....and find a way to explain to our son & other children that their uncle had died. I had already started a social story about death....and had to work quickly to finish it before the bus brought them home from school. My mind began to race with a million thoughts -- I had to prepare "Taz" for what to expect at his uncle's funeral. Although he understood on some level what cancer was (all of the kids did), he had not experienced death -- so I had to find a way to help our son understand that this was it -- his uncle was gone.