Changes

Taz's time at LTC was a mixture of good and bad. He regained most of his verbal skills, and had FINALLY re-mastered potty training (yippee no more pull-up pants!).....however there were still numerous daily meltdowns, medication issues, eating issues, sleep issues, etc. We were dealing with things one day at a time.....and with the support of the staff at LTC, we were surviving.

When Taz began attending LTC, he was placed in Mrs. K's classroom for an "early childhood" (Head Start) type of program, then transitioned to Mrs. B's classroom for preschool/grade K type work. He was thriving, he was learning, he had friends....and his achievements helped to keep us motivated. LTC was a part of our family.....we were happy there.....and more importantly, Taz was accepted there. At LTC, Taz wasn't looked at as some type of "weirdo" nor treated like an outcast. LTC was our "safe place" -- unlike many of the places we went to in public (grocery store, restaurants, church) where we received strange looks and rude comments.

While Taz attended LTC, I had the opportunity to become more involved and taught parent workshops -- showing other parents how to use things at home to teach and work with their children the way the staff did at school. I used the skills and knowledge I had obtained to create things that helped Taz.....and my wonderful amazing husband used his skills to work with our son as well. He used his business contacts to obtain items we could have in our home (school desk, phonics charts, etc) and also to arrange a private "meet and greet" for our son to meet his hero -- Nascar driver Dale Jarrett (there was an autograph signing event at a local business). My husband was and still is so amazing -- he has moved heaven and earth to help our son, and has been my rock & support throughout this journey.

Things were going fairly well for our son at LTC and we were happy......what came next however resulted in a mixture of emotions. One day while visiting his classroom, I had a conversation with Taz's teacher. She spoke about how well he was doing, etc and said that it was time to consider the next transition. I guess the puzzled look on my face was enough to tell her that I had no clue what she meant by that. She said "we've done all we can for him here -- it's time to transition to public school." My heart skipped a beat! I asked what she meant -- transition as in placed into a special education program or what? She smiled and said "no, based on where he is at academically, I'd say he's ready to be placed into what we call the 'inclusion program' -- general education classes that include special needs children." WOW....was Taz really ready for this type of major transition?

And IEP meeting was held, everything was discussed.....and Taz transitioned to the local public school within our district. He was placed into a general education grade K classroom. It was obvious from day one that the teacher did NOT want an A.I. student in her classroom. She was very rude to our son, very impatient, and extremely difficult to work with. And her attitude and behavior projected onto the students -- they were afraid of Taz because of his meltdowns, and very unaccepting of him -- to them he was "weird" and different.....and he became a social outcast, struggling to make friends.

It was shortly after the class Halloween party that we demanded Taz be transferred into a different classroom. I remember it like it was yesterday. As I helped other parents set up the classroom for the party -- while the students were out at recess -- I realized just how unaccepted our son was. I was near the window with 2 other mothers and watched as my son wandered away from his aide and attempted to approach several classmates. You could tell by the look on his face that he desperately wanted to join them in play, but had no idea how to go about asking if he could do so. Each child that he approached would laugh and run off away from him, or shake their head no -- and you could tell by the gestures, etc that they were telling him "no, go away -- I don't want to play with you."

I stood at the window, watching as my son was turned away by one classmate after another.....shunned by his peers. At LTC he had so many friends, he was happy & loved to play. But here at the public school, he was alone.....aside from his aide, he had no friends -- no one to play with....no one that understood what it was like in his world. Although he wasn't able to express it in words, you could tell from the look on his face that he felt alone and sad. My heart just ached as I watched helplessly from the window as one child after another rejected him. I wanted to bang on the glass and scream "play with him -- PLEASE -- be his friend!" But instead I just stood there with tears welling up in my eyes. The other moms began to talk about their kids, and point out where their children were on the playground. My son approached the one woman's daughter and the little girl shook her head and ran off towards the swings. The other mom said "who is that kid?" while pointing towards my son. The first mom responded "oh that kid, my daughter said he's such a weirdo -- apparently he's a retard or something.....he has tantrums and does strange things. He shouldn't be in this type of class, he should be in the Special Ed room!" At that moment both of the women noticed that I was standing there -- they looked at me and asked "so which one is your child?"......with tears in my eyes, I simply mumbled "the weirdo".....they both just stood there. As I turned to walk away, I glared at them and said  -- "By the way, he isn't retarded he has Autism".....then I walked away quickly before they could see my tears.

Now, before everyone freaks out and starts sending me hate messages....let me clearly state, I do NOT consider my son to be retarded nor have I ever used the "R" word  -- I hate that word. I hate the way that people can be so cruel and use words like that to hurt others. I wanted to punch those other moms in the face for the way they spoke about my son.....but instead of hitting them with my fists, I hit them with my words. I left the classroom and went straight to the Principal's office. I explained to her that I felt my son was not being treated fairly by the teacher, and it was obvious that she did not want him in her classroom. I demanded that he be switched to a different class immediately. Of course we had to go through the "red tape" of another meeting.....but our son was switched to a different classroom.....the multi-age class. This classroom was a mixture of grade K and First Grade students, and was co-taught by 2 seasoned teachers. Of course the transition wasn't a smooth one, and the new teachers and I butted heads a few times....but eventually they figured out that I could become their best friend -- or their biggest nightmare. After a few struggles, they opted for the friend route.

I spoke to both of them about how the other students respond to my son and requested that I be allowed to visit the classroom and explain to the students about Autism......perhaps if it was explained in a way that they could understand, it would help them to understand my son. Both teachers loved the idea and after obtaining permission from the principal, I visited the classroom. The students were very well behaved and asked a million questions! After that visit, they seemed to adjust and become more accepting and understanding......slowly my son began to make friends. Whew, one transition battle down.....many more to go......