Safety

The topic of safety has been floating around on the various Autism sites I visit frequently. People have been discussing safety at home, safety while out in public, wandering, etc.

It seems as though there have been far too many news reports lately about Autistic children who have "wandered off" -- it breaks my heart and sends a chill up my spine every time I read or hear of a new report. There have been ASD children in our area that I've helped to search for over the years. Sometimes the outcome has been a positive thing (child is found safe), other times not....it's heartbreaking.



Losing a child is every parent's nightmare, especially the parents of an ASD child. Typical children seem to be able to comprehend danger situations -- not always, but most of the time. They are usually able to tell someone their name, phone number, etc. Sadly, not all ASD children can do those things -- especially if they are non-verbal and/or do not grasp the concept of what is and what is not dangerous. Many ASD children act on impulse....they don't always "think", they just react.....and when they wander off or run off, they aren't always aware of their surroundings....and they may not comprehend what to do in order to keep themselves safe.

We've had more than one experience of Taz wandering/running off -- it was the most terrifying experience of my life! Thankfully Taz doesn't do that any more....once in a while he will try to sneak outside alone, but he has come to the understanding -- that is something he is not suppose to do. I still worry, and I haven't let my guard down at all -- because I know at any given moment he could try to wander off or run off -- that's part of Autism. As parents of ASD children, sometimes we have to go above and beyond -- almost bordering OCD in regards to being protective of our children. In my opinion, you can NEVER be too protective -- after all, it's better to be safe than sorry. It only takes a split second for something to happen -- thus I would rather be considered "over protective" and know that my child (all of my children) are safe vs let my guard down for just a moment and then regret it for the rest of my life.

Let's face it -- things aren't the way they were when we were kids. When I was a kid -- you didn't have to worry about locking your doors, it was ok to talk to a stranger (except for that creepy guy who worked at the rollerskating rink), we grew up knowing who the "safe" people were if you needed help (police officer, fire fighter, priest, teacher, etc.), and we didn't have to wait to eat our Halloween candy. We used to ride our bikes into town to go swimming at the lake (about an 8 mile ride) every day during the summer. And I can't even count the number of times mom & dad left us home alone!

Yet in today's society -- you can't do things like that. Halloween candy has to be "checked" and sometimes even x-rayed before it can be eaten, it's never safe to go anywhere alone as a kid (not even to a public restroom), we teach our children to NEVER talk to strangers, and if you're foolish enough to leave a young child home alone or in the car while you run in to pay for your gas -- there's a good chance you could end up in jail or have CPS knocking on your door! And just for the record -- NO, I do NOT leave my kids home alone nor have I ever left them in the car by themselves....even if it's just to run in and pay for gas or whatever, I ALWAYS take them with me.....and yes I've gotten some dirty looks for it and rude remarks, but oh well.

Anyhow, back to the topic of safety.....

We have double locks on every door in this house -- locks on the windows which also have child safety latches on them. We have an amazing guard dog who also doubles as a service dog for Taz. We have repeatedly gone over the "what if" emergency plans with the kids -- they know our phone number, where we live, and who the "safe" people are if they ever need help. They know what to do in the event of a fire, tornado, auto accident, etc. -- even Taz. I have repeated these things over and over to Taz -- I've made certain that he understands what to do if needed. I've made social stories about every possible situation, and have even done practice drills with him -- just like the tornado, fire, & lock down drills they do at school.

Whenever we go out in public, all of the kids know that it's not ok to speak to a stranger unless mommy or daddy tells them it is -- they know that they are to always stay by our side, hold our hand if needed when in a busy place. They know that it is never ok to accept anything from a stranger -- candy, etc. unless mom & dad say it's ok (and yes I check over every single piece of Halloween candy -- like some CSI person would study a clue at a crime scene). They do not go into a strange public restroom alone (the restrooms at school are ok).....and yes I've had more than my fair share of dirty looks when escorting 4 boys into the women's restroom, but hey I don't care -- I'd rather have them go in with me vs go into the men's restroom alone and risk being grabbed or worse by some child molester. They also have been taught that in an emergency situation, they are to look for a "safe" person -- one thing we've added to the list of who is safe -- another mommy.....a woman with young children.

They also know what the "security word" is -- for example, if someone comes to their school and says something like "your mom got into an accident, you need to come with me"....if the person can't tell them what the security word is, then they don't go with that person. We have a network of people available in the event of an emergency -- it isn't a huge network, but enough people whom the children all know & understand they can trust -- so "if" something ever happens, I know our children will be safe.

Now some folks would probably say that I'm over-protective, but I don't care. I'd rather be safe than sorry....in this day an age, you can never be too careful in my opinion. Finally the last bit of safety advice I could give to a parent....regardless of if they have an ASD child or not.....start teaching your children about safety as early as possible! Repeat things over and over, make social stories, give them different scenarios, invest in an I.D. necklace or bracelet for non-verbal children, invest in some extra locks for the doors (a security fence, etc), and last but not least....teach them who the "safe" people are.