Wow, has it really been a year since my last post? To those who are still following me...thank you & I apologize for being a total slacker....I really have no excuse....ok, yeah I do but you probably don't want to hear them right? I still can't believe....has it really been a whole year? Sorry about that peeps, I really am. You know it's been a long time when I have to look up my log-in info just so I can post something. (yeah that's pretty bad - shame on me for being a slacker with the blog)
Anyhow, this past year has been a real rollercoaster ride.....I'll post more details later (yes I promise I will)....suffice to say, we pulled Taz out of "Hell High" and he's back attending school in our home district....has spent the past year doing his schoolwork online from home (oh that's been an adventure in itself!). Hubby found a new job, and we've slowly been climbing out of the financial hell that we were put into when he lost his job last year. In other news, my sister was diagnosed with cancer.....
So yeah, this past year has been pretty crazy and I've had a full plate.....like one of those all-you-can-eat buffet style plates. Thus that's my "excuse" for being a total slacker with the blog. But I'm back now and promise to update you all on what life has been like over the past year.....seriously, I mean it this time....I vow to be less of a slacker.....ok, so let the adventure continue!
Monday, July 7, 2014
Monday, June 17, 2013
Strong Enough To Bend
Well folks, I know it's been a while since my last post.....sorry about that. We've had a lot going on here and suffice to say, none of it has been "happy" stuff.
First for the big news -- the company my hubby worked for closed their doors for good on May 26th.....which means, hubby now has no job and we have zero income. The week after the company closed, hubby had to deal with vendors coming to pick up their stuff, the auction company, and a million other BS things -- the super crappy part -- he did NOT get paid for all of the work he did that week. Nope, nada -- not one cent.
We've spent this month trying to file for some type of assistance, food stamps, unemployment, etc. Have also spent the past week trying to keep from losing our home. Funny how companies you've dealt with for years suddenly become total assholes when they discover you have no income. And funny (said in a sarcastic way) how people who really NEED help have to jump through a million hoops and get treated like scum of the earth, yet people who abuse the system get money practically thrown at them. Yes I met a lot of system abusers this past week -- and several of them really pissed me off -- there was one in particular who is extremely lucky that I didn't punch her in the face.
Let me tell ya folks, even if you have a child with a disability and according to the state and/or federal laws, etc that child SHOULD qualify for certain programs because of their disability....do NOT fool yourself.....trying to actually qualify for said programs will be like trying to shove a watermelon through a garden hose.....it will NOT be an easy process. You will have to jump through a million different hoops, get treated like the scum of the earth, and get to the point where you want to just pull your hair out.....but stick with it, don't let the stress get to you and don't give up.
The stuff I have been through over the past 2 weeks has been pure hell. Seriously, this has been worse than any meltdown I've ever dealt with, and any IEP meeting I've ever had to attend! There have been days when I broke down in tears, days when I kept thinking this was all just some nightmare and I'd wake up at any moment.....as hard as it has been, I've pushed myself through and kept going. Why you ask? Well duh....because that's what we do when we are parents. We keep going, we keep fighting, we keep pushing through when things get tough. Failure is not an option -- giving up is not an option.
ASD parents are tough cookies -- we have the strength of a mighty oak tree, but yet are flexible like the weeping willow -- thus when the "storms" of life hit (and trust me they will), our strong roots will hold us firmly in place while we bend as needed to survive the storm.
First for the big news -- the company my hubby worked for closed their doors for good on May 26th.....which means, hubby now has no job and we have zero income. The week after the company closed, hubby had to deal with vendors coming to pick up their stuff, the auction company, and a million other BS things -- the super crappy part -- he did NOT get paid for all of the work he did that week. Nope, nada -- not one cent.
We've spent this month trying to file for some type of assistance, food stamps, unemployment, etc. Have also spent the past week trying to keep from losing our home. Funny how companies you've dealt with for years suddenly become total assholes when they discover you have no income. And funny (said in a sarcastic way) how people who really NEED help have to jump through a million hoops and get treated like scum of the earth, yet people who abuse the system get money practically thrown at them. Yes I met a lot of system abusers this past week -- and several of them really pissed me off -- there was one in particular who is extremely lucky that I didn't punch her in the face.
Let me tell ya folks, even if you have a child with a disability and according to the state and/or federal laws, etc that child SHOULD qualify for certain programs because of their disability....do NOT fool yourself.....trying to actually qualify for said programs will be like trying to shove a watermelon through a garden hose.....it will NOT be an easy process. You will have to jump through a million different hoops, get treated like the scum of the earth, and get to the point where you want to just pull your hair out.....but stick with it, don't let the stress get to you and don't give up.
The stuff I have been through over the past 2 weeks has been pure hell. Seriously, this has been worse than any meltdown I've ever dealt with, and any IEP meeting I've ever had to attend! There have been days when I broke down in tears, days when I kept thinking this was all just some nightmare and I'd wake up at any moment.....as hard as it has been, I've pushed myself through and kept going. Why you ask? Well duh....because that's what we do when we are parents. We keep going, we keep fighting, we keep pushing through when things get tough. Failure is not an option -- giving up is not an option.
ASD parents are tough cookies -- we have the strength of a mighty oak tree, but yet are flexible like the weeping willow -- thus when the "storms" of life hit (and trust me they will), our strong roots will hold us firmly in place while we bend as needed to survive the storm.
Friday, May 17, 2013
The IEP and other fun crap
Well peeps, the past week or so has been pure hell. We received the evaluation results for the eval they did on Taz (did I tell you about that? I don't remember and am feeling too lazy to go back and look at previous blog posts). Oh well, short version:
With all that has happened this year, I wanted to make sure Taz was still on track academically and just "see" where he is at as far as the social/behavior stuff goes. Suffice to say, I was NOT pleased with the results of the evaluation. The crap school he's at currently....in their "attempt" to get his behavior in check and work on his social skills, etc (which they haven't done that great of a job on IMHO) they decided to "slide" on the academics....thus Taz is NOT where he needs to be going into high school. I found out some other stuff as well, but really can't get into all of that at the moment because part of it involves the crap school not following his IEP...suffice to say, I'm not really thrilled at the moment.
Based on all that we discovered, the evaluation results, etc there is pretty much no way that Taz can return to our home school district this Fall....thus our only option at this point would be to either: (1) home school, or (2) enroll him in the program at "Hell High" for a year in hopes that they can not only get him back where he needs to be academically, but also get his social/behavior stuff in check. Because of everything else that is going on, I just can't deal with another year full of non-stop battles with the school and "team", thus hubby & I agreed to enroll Taz in "Hell High" for a year. Yeah I know....it's definitely NOT my "school of choice".....but we did have one bonus at the IEP meeting. They somehow "forgot" (yeah right) to invite one of the key ISD people....so, I decided to invite her as our "guest"....tee hee, yep nothing the team could do about it since I REQUESTED that she be in attendance....so she was there in our corner. She actually does support us and wants what is best for Taz, and she's a "take no crap" type of gal -- someone the "team" doesn't want to mess with. So with her assistance, we were able to spell things out very clearly for the "team".....we were very specific with what we wanted written in the IEP, how we want things approached going into the fall, what we expect, etc along with a whole list of goals and stuff.
The other thing....a very dear friend lost her battle with cancer. She had been the principal at Taz's former Elementary school and was a huge advocate....she had been such a great help during the difficult years. There was no cure for the type of cancer she had, thus the doctors had just been "keeping in under control" for the last 2 years. I had to visit the school to take something in for son #3's class, and found out that she was in the hospital and they were preparing for her to go home with hospice. When I heard the news, it felt as if someone had hit me with a semi truck.....I knew this day would come, I knew it from the moment she first told me she had cancer....but I wasn't prepared for it, I wasn't ready to let her go. She has always been one of my "go to" people, and when Taz entered middle school I would often stop by and chat with her about things.....thus I wanted to talk to her about the crap school, Hell High, how the IEP went, etc.....just catch up and chat like we always did, but that didn't happen. They were limiting her visitors to just family....so I never got the chance to see her one last time.
I decided to make a quilt for her....Lord knows I've told her a million times over the years just how much she meant to us, etc but I wanted her to have something in her final days....something that would remind her just how much we loved her. So I decided to make a quilt. I did a patchwork ABC design on the one side (similar to the one I made for our teacher friend who retired), and on the other I had hand prints of students past & present....I painted each hand print with craft paint (they were the "border" of the other side of the quilt), then in the center I painted "You held our hands for a little while, but you'll hold our hearts always". All 4 kids helped with the quilt....the 2 older boys helped cut out the fabric, sew the squares together, etc and all 4 helped paint the hand prints....even hubby helped. When it was finished, I took it to her best friend and asked if she could deliver it. I included a heartfelt letter.....her friend took it to the house the day they brought her home from the hospital. She read the letter out loud to her and they put the quilt on her hospital/hospice bed. Her friend told me how touched "V" was, as well as her family and how much the quilt meant to them all. She died a few days later....they closed school for the day and held a memorial service in the gym. The 3 younger boys and I went to that....they had the quilt on display for all to see. I kept it together for the most part, at least until "V's" mom came up and hugged me and thanked me for the quilt. Then I cried.....and I cried the whole drive home. I will miss my friend and mentor....I'll miss our visits and chats....I'll miss her wisdom and advice.
Well if that wasn't enough to make it a super crummy week, hubby had to work on Mother's Day and because it was such a long work day for him, he didn't stop to get any gifts for me (from the kids). I knew he wouldn't be able to go shopping, and the kids were bugging me most of the day....so I took them out to lunch and then shopping so they could pick out a gift. I ended up cooking dinner since hubby didn't get out of work until late....so pretty much my Mother's Day sucked....it sucks to have to buy your own gifts, spend the day dealing with non-stop B.S. and then cook a meal that was suppose to be cooked for you.....oh well, whatever....such is life right? At least the kids tried to make it a good day as much as possible.
I had hoped that this week would get better after the past week we had....yeah right....no such luck. I had a ton of stuff to deal with as per usual, had to run out and do some last minute shopping for son #2's birthday, got some bad news that night as I was in the middle of trying to frost his cake (will share that news later). Then I found out that some punk kid took a gun into the crap school this week (the school that Taz attends) thankfully no one was hurt....but talk about something that would make a parent freak out -- damn and this is the school that the team claims is such a great choice for Taz?! Suffice to say I was not pleased at all to hear that news, especially since they made it sound like it wasn't that big of a deal when they robo-called about it....then I hear more details on the local news about it. At least no one was hurt....
Then the other day I got a call from the school to pick up son #4 cause he had gotten hurt on the playground. I found out once I got to the school that he had fallen and hit his head, but they didn't know "how" it happened or if he had knocked himself completely out or not....how can they not know that?! WTF?! Where were the damn recess aides, who was watching these kids? It's not that big of a playground for crying out loud! Anyhow, when I got there I saw he had a huge bruise on his forehead and he was complaining of a stomach ache....great probably a concussion. Sigh.....he's ok now, I kept him home yesterday just to make sure and contacted his doctor....he was fine today so I sent him back to school. Now at this point I should be yelling "TGIF" right? Yeah not gonna happen....we had one more bad thing hit this week, news that is NOT good at all....but I can't say anything about it just yet. Suffice to say it will mean some major changes for us.....stay tuned, I promise to share more details within the next few days.
With all that has happened this year, I wanted to make sure Taz was still on track academically and just "see" where he is at as far as the social/behavior stuff goes. Suffice to say, I was NOT pleased with the results of the evaluation. The crap school he's at currently....in their "attempt" to get his behavior in check and work on his social skills, etc (which they haven't done that great of a job on IMHO) they decided to "slide" on the academics....thus Taz is NOT where he needs to be going into high school. I found out some other stuff as well, but really can't get into all of that at the moment because part of it involves the crap school not following his IEP...suffice to say, I'm not really thrilled at the moment.
Based on all that we discovered, the evaluation results, etc there is pretty much no way that Taz can return to our home school district this Fall....thus our only option at this point would be to either: (1) home school, or (2) enroll him in the program at "Hell High" for a year in hopes that they can not only get him back where he needs to be academically, but also get his social/behavior stuff in check. Because of everything else that is going on, I just can't deal with another year full of non-stop battles with the school and "team", thus hubby & I agreed to enroll Taz in "Hell High" for a year. Yeah I know....it's definitely NOT my "school of choice".....but we did have one bonus at the IEP meeting. They somehow "forgot" (yeah right) to invite one of the key ISD people....so, I decided to invite her as our "guest"....tee hee, yep nothing the team could do about it since I REQUESTED that she be in attendance....so she was there in our corner. She actually does support us and wants what is best for Taz, and she's a "take no crap" type of gal -- someone the "team" doesn't want to mess with. So with her assistance, we were able to spell things out very clearly for the "team".....we were very specific with what we wanted written in the IEP, how we want things approached going into the fall, what we expect, etc along with a whole list of goals and stuff.
The other thing....a very dear friend lost her battle with cancer. She had been the principal at Taz's former Elementary school and was a huge advocate....she had been such a great help during the difficult years. There was no cure for the type of cancer she had, thus the doctors had just been "keeping in under control" for the last 2 years. I had to visit the school to take something in for son #3's class, and found out that she was in the hospital and they were preparing for her to go home with hospice. When I heard the news, it felt as if someone had hit me with a semi truck.....I knew this day would come, I knew it from the moment she first told me she had cancer....but I wasn't prepared for it, I wasn't ready to let her go. She has always been one of my "go to" people, and when Taz entered middle school I would often stop by and chat with her about things.....thus I wanted to talk to her about the crap school, Hell High, how the IEP went, etc.....just catch up and chat like we always did, but that didn't happen. They were limiting her visitors to just family....so I never got the chance to see her one last time.
I decided to make a quilt for her....Lord knows I've told her a million times over the years just how much she meant to us, etc but I wanted her to have something in her final days....something that would remind her just how much we loved her. So I decided to make a quilt. I did a patchwork ABC design on the one side (similar to the one I made for our teacher friend who retired), and on the other I had hand prints of students past & present....I painted each hand print with craft paint (they were the "border" of the other side of the quilt), then in the center I painted "You held our hands for a little while, but you'll hold our hearts always". All 4 kids helped with the quilt....the 2 older boys helped cut out the fabric, sew the squares together, etc and all 4 helped paint the hand prints....even hubby helped. When it was finished, I took it to her best friend and asked if she could deliver it. I included a heartfelt letter.....her friend took it to the house the day they brought her home from the hospital. She read the letter out loud to her and they put the quilt on her hospital/hospice bed. Her friend told me how touched "V" was, as well as her family and how much the quilt meant to them all. She died a few days later....they closed school for the day and held a memorial service in the gym. The 3 younger boys and I went to that....they had the quilt on display for all to see. I kept it together for the most part, at least until "V's" mom came up and hugged me and thanked me for the quilt. Then I cried.....and I cried the whole drive home. I will miss my friend and mentor....I'll miss our visits and chats....I'll miss her wisdom and advice.
Well if that wasn't enough to make it a super crummy week, hubby had to work on Mother's Day and because it was such a long work day for him, he didn't stop to get any gifts for me (from the kids). I knew he wouldn't be able to go shopping, and the kids were bugging me most of the day....so I took them out to lunch and then shopping so they could pick out a gift. I ended up cooking dinner since hubby didn't get out of work until late....so pretty much my Mother's Day sucked....it sucks to have to buy your own gifts, spend the day dealing with non-stop B.S. and then cook a meal that was suppose to be cooked for you.....oh well, whatever....such is life right? At least the kids tried to make it a good day as much as possible.
I had hoped that this week would get better after the past week we had....yeah right....no such luck. I had a ton of stuff to deal with as per usual, had to run out and do some last minute shopping for son #2's birthday, got some bad news that night as I was in the middle of trying to frost his cake (will share that news later). Then I found out that some punk kid took a gun into the crap school this week (the school that Taz attends) thankfully no one was hurt....but talk about something that would make a parent freak out -- damn and this is the school that the team claims is such a great choice for Taz?! Suffice to say I was not pleased at all to hear that news, especially since they made it sound like it wasn't that big of a deal when they robo-called about it....then I hear more details on the local news about it. At least no one was hurt....
Then the other day I got a call from the school to pick up son #4 cause he had gotten hurt on the playground. I found out once I got to the school that he had fallen and hit his head, but they didn't know "how" it happened or if he had knocked himself completely out or not....how can they not know that?! WTF?! Where were the damn recess aides, who was watching these kids? It's not that big of a playground for crying out loud! Anyhow, when I got there I saw he had a huge bruise on his forehead and he was complaining of a stomach ache....great probably a concussion. Sigh.....he's ok now, I kept him home yesterday just to make sure and contacted his doctor....he was fine today so I sent him back to school. Now at this point I should be yelling "TGIF" right? Yeah not gonna happen....we had one more bad thing hit this week, news that is NOT good at all....but I can't say anything about it just yet. Suffice to say it will mean some major changes for us.....stay tuned, I promise to share more details within the next few days.
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
Seriously??
Hello peeps,
Today's topic is a mixture of thoughts.....things that make me say "WTF, seriously?" First off -- the back and forth "debate" among ASD parents....you know the ones who prefer to use the phrase "a child with autism" vs "autistic child". My thought on that -- what's the big deal? The disorder is the same regardless. Ok, ok I get it that some parents don't want their child to be defined by ASD and/or want people to know that their child is more than just a label, but seriously....is that something that you have to get into a heated debate over? The other big debate that makes me say "WTF, seriously?" is the whole "stay-at-home" parent vs "working" parent thing.....some parents stay home by choice, others stay home because of whatever reason -- then on the other side of the debate are those who work and aren't able to stay home for whatever reason. I seriously do not understand why folks feel the need to debate which type of parent is better -- in the end we all do what we can for our kids, we do the best job possible based on our circumstances and financial situation.
Another random thought.....lately we've been dealing with the whole "transition to high school" thing and trying to decide which school would be the best choice for Taz. Yes I've commented here on the blog my thoughts and feelings about this whole thing -- yes I've vented and been a bit sarcastic. One thing that I haven't shared is a message I received from someone who apparently read the blog and accused me of being an "Autism Snob" (among other things).....WTF, seriously? No I will not post her message, cause quite frankly I thought the woman was a royal b*tch....I will however address what she said to me. One of the joys of being the blog owner is that I moderate things and determine what comments will be posted and what ones won't.....if ya don't like that, tough cookies....my blog, my rules.
Ok so the short version of her message/rant.....apparently she is the parent of a child on the spectrum. Her child isn't as high-functioning as Taz. Her child is pretty much non-verbal, struggling with potty training, etc. In her message/rant she basically accused me of having the "My ASD kid is better than yours" attitude. Listen up sweetie, I have NEVER had an attitude like that -- I am very sympathetic to what others are going through and dealing with, I try to help people as much as I can (thus one of the many reasons I started this blog), and I am extremely thankful that our son is where he's at right now. If you bothered to read my entire blog then you would know that when we began this journey, our son was a lot like yours. We have worked hard to get him to the point he's at today.
So no, I do NOT think my ASD kid is better than yours. What I do think and feel is that my son IS capable of more and it frustrates me that just because the school and IEP team have never dealt with a kid like him before, they don't know what to do to help him achieve his goals....thus they are trying to convince us to just go the easy route instead. Why on earth would we settle for the "certificate of achievement" if he's capable of actually obtaining his diploma? Why give up and go the easy route when we've come this far? Ok, I understand that you're p*ssed off....you're mad at the school in your area, you're mad at the ISD, you hate autism, etc. -- I understand, I get that -- but don't take your anger out on me, don't accuse me of having an attitude that my kid is somehow better than yours or go on some rant ripping me apart because I do what I do. I will always fight for my child...I will be his voice until he can do it on his own....I will fight for change, I will fight for his rights and the rights of kids like him.
I understand that it rips your heart apart that your child is less functioning and you feel like you'd be wasting your time trying to do things. But how will you know if you don't even try? In the beginning my son was "normal", then due to a doctor's error it all slipped away -- he lost all verbal skills, he lost his potty training, etc -- try to imagine what it was like having those things, then watching it all slip away. Perhaps that is why I fight so hard? But you know what, I wouldn't change my son for the world. I love him for who he is, autism and all. What I will fight to change is what the world's view is of people with ASD. So many of these kids are capable of more than what society thinks, all they need is a chance -- all they need is someone to believe in them and be willing to work with them. As I've said to many parents, if you give up without even trying, then you lose....your child will lose. It's like running a marathon and then just when you're almost to the finish line you give up....you stop and let someone else cross the line in front of you....thus instead of taking first place, you've settled for second or just getting your "I participated" ribbon.....or worse yet, you're so afraid of being in that marathon, that you don't even bother to try. Trust me, you have no idea what your child might be capable of, they may just surprise you.....so don't give up without even trying. Don't believe everything the "powers that be" try to spoon feed you.....just because a certain percentage of kids might not reach a certain level, that doesn't mean your kid will do the same.
I've always said, a parent KNOWS their child better than any professional does. Just because someone is a specialist, teacher, ISD employee, etc doesn't mean they know your kid better than you do. Focus on what you child can do rather than what they can't -- give them the chance to try. Trust me, if for one second....ONE SECOND....I thought/felt that Taz wasn't able to achieve a diploma, etc then I would be able to accept that and would shift my focus to the "certificate of achievement". I know the reality of ASD....I know that there are some things these kids struggle with and/or can't do. I've already accepted the fact that he will probably never be able to drive a car -- but that doesn't mean he won't be able to do other things. I have no doubt that he WILL be able to hold a job, live independently, etc. Yes it frustrates me that just because the school has never dealt with a kid like him before, they want us to just give up and go the easy route....follow the herd so to speak, rather than push to have them develop a program that would fit his needs and help him achieve things he's capable of. I'm fighting for changes not only for my son, but for all of the other ASD kids coming up through the district behind him.....kids like your child.
Half of the programs our school district has in place NOW....stuff they didn't have when we first started this journey.....half of those programs are available now for other kids because of our son. They developed these things because of him, and as a result other kids (like yours) are benefiting from it.....so yes, you're welcome. When we first began this journey, they didn't have stuff available like ABA therapy, early intervention programs, etc (at least not in our area) like they do now. Hell, they didn't even have a low-stim "relax room" -- it was just a broom closet with a bean bag chair in it! Our son was the "ISD guinea pig"....our son was the guinea pig for the school district. They developed a lot of these programs and services because of him -- because he was so different compared to the other kids that they've shuttled through the school system (kids who were grade levels ahead of him). Hell, if anyone should be p*ssed off, it should be me! More than half of the social stories, schedules, etc that they use at the Elementary school are items that I made -- thus other kids are benefiting from my work, etc. Other kids coming up through the system -- kids who will enter middle school (or elementary school) will have a better chance because of what we started.....because of what we pushed for, what we fought for.....but alas, since no one ahead of us "paved the way" for middle school and high school programs, we'll have to do that as well. Thus whatever we push for now, other kids will benefit from in the future.
Will I just give up now and settle for "certificate of achievement" because that's what the norm was for the ASD kids who've gone through the system ahead of my son and that's what those kids received? Should I just give up and settle since there aren't programs available that would fit my son's needs? No, I will not give up or settle....why, because I know my son is capable of more. And I'm not just fighting for my son -- I'm fighting for your kids too. Other people on the "team" believe my son is capable of more. The problem is, they want to continue to do what they've done for the past 10 years rather than change their programs, etc because "what they've done has worked thus far" (that's what one of the "powers that be" said during a meeting) or "there's no money in the budget" -- well guess what sparky, I'm not going to settle for excuses and what they've done in the past isn't going to work for my son or the other kids coming up through the district behind him. So it's time to make some changes. And perhaps, just perhaps....the things I'm pushing for now, will benefit a kid like yours later on down the road.....so, you're welcome.
Today's topic is a mixture of thoughts.....things that make me say "WTF, seriously?" First off -- the back and forth "debate" among ASD parents....you know the ones who prefer to use the phrase "a child with autism" vs "autistic child". My thought on that -- what's the big deal? The disorder is the same regardless. Ok, ok I get it that some parents don't want their child to be defined by ASD and/or want people to know that their child is more than just a label, but seriously....is that something that you have to get into a heated debate over? The other big debate that makes me say "WTF, seriously?" is the whole "stay-at-home" parent vs "working" parent thing.....some parents stay home by choice, others stay home because of whatever reason -- then on the other side of the debate are those who work and aren't able to stay home for whatever reason. I seriously do not understand why folks feel the need to debate which type of parent is better -- in the end we all do what we can for our kids, we do the best job possible based on our circumstances and financial situation.
Another random thought.....lately we've been dealing with the whole "transition to high school" thing and trying to decide which school would be the best choice for Taz. Yes I've commented here on the blog my thoughts and feelings about this whole thing -- yes I've vented and been a bit sarcastic. One thing that I haven't shared is a message I received from someone who apparently read the blog and accused me of being an "Autism Snob" (among other things).....WTF, seriously? No I will not post her message, cause quite frankly I thought the woman was a royal b*tch....I will however address what she said to me. One of the joys of being the blog owner is that I moderate things and determine what comments will be posted and what ones won't.....if ya don't like that, tough cookies....my blog, my rules.
Ok so the short version of her message/rant.....apparently she is the parent of a child on the spectrum. Her child isn't as high-functioning as Taz. Her child is pretty much non-verbal, struggling with potty training, etc. In her message/rant she basically accused me of having the "My ASD kid is better than yours" attitude. Listen up sweetie, I have NEVER had an attitude like that -- I am very sympathetic to what others are going through and dealing with, I try to help people as much as I can (thus one of the many reasons I started this blog), and I am extremely thankful that our son is where he's at right now. If you bothered to read my entire blog then you would know that when we began this journey, our son was a lot like yours. We have worked hard to get him to the point he's at today.
So no, I do NOT think my ASD kid is better than yours. What I do think and feel is that my son IS capable of more and it frustrates me that just because the school and IEP team have never dealt with a kid like him before, they don't know what to do to help him achieve his goals....thus they are trying to convince us to just go the easy route instead. Why on earth would we settle for the "certificate of achievement" if he's capable of actually obtaining his diploma? Why give up and go the easy route when we've come this far? Ok, I understand that you're p*ssed off....you're mad at the school in your area, you're mad at the ISD, you hate autism, etc. -- I understand, I get that -- but don't take your anger out on me, don't accuse me of having an attitude that my kid is somehow better than yours or go on some rant ripping me apart because I do what I do. I will always fight for my child...I will be his voice until he can do it on his own....I will fight for change, I will fight for his rights and the rights of kids like him.
I understand that it rips your heart apart that your child is less functioning and you feel like you'd be wasting your time trying to do things. But how will you know if you don't even try? In the beginning my son was "normal", then due to a doctor's error it all slipped away -- he lost all verbal skills, he lost his potty training, etc -- try to imagine what it was like having those things, then watching it all slip away. Perhaps that is why I fight so hard? But you know what, I wouldn't change my son for the world. I love him for who he is, autism and all. What I will fight to change is what the world's view is of people with ASD. So many of these kids are capable of more than what society thinks, all they need is a chance -- all they need is someone to believe in them and be willing to work with them. As I've said to many parents, if you give up without even trying, then you lose....your child will lose. It's like running a marathon and then just when you're almost to the finish line you give up....you stop and let someone else cross the line in front of you....thus instead of taking first place, you've settled for second or just getting your "I participated" ribbon.....or worse yet, you're so afraid of being in that marathon, that you don't even bother to try. Trust me, you have no idea what your child might be capable of, they may just surprise you.....so don't give up without even trying. Don't believe everything the "powers that be" try to spoon feed you.....just because a certain percentage of kids might not reach a certain level, that doesn't mean your kid will do the same.
I've always said, a parent KNOWS their child better than any professional does. Just because someone is a specialist, teacher, ISD employee, etc doesn't mean they know your kid better than you do. Focus on what you child can do rather than what they can't -- give them the chance to try. Trust me, if for one second....ONE SECOND....I thought/felt that Taz wasn't able to achieve a diploma, etc then I would be able to accept that and would shift my focus to the "certificate of achievement". I know the reality of ASD....I know that there are some things these kids struggle with and/or can't do. I've already accepted the fact that he will probably never be able to drive a car -- but that doesn't mean he won't be able to do other things. I have no doubt that he WILL be able to hold a job, live independently, etc. Yes it frustrates me that just because the school has never dealt with a kid like him before, they want us to just give up and go the easy route....follow the herd so to speak, rather than push to have them develop a program that would fit his needs and help him achieve things he's capable of. I'm fighting for changes not only for my son, but for all of the other ASD kids coming up through the district behind him.....kids like your child.
Half of the programs our school district has in place NOW....stuff they didn't have when we first started this journey.....half of those programs are available now for other kids because of our son. They developed these things because of him, and as a result other kids (like yours) are benefiting from it.....so yes, you're welcome. When we first began this journey, they didn't have stuff available like ABA therapy, early intervention programs, etc (at least not in our area) like they do now. Hell, they didn't even have a low-stim "relax room" -- it was just a broom closet with a bean bag chair in it! Our son was the "ISD guinea pig"....our son was the guinea pig for the school district. They developed a lot of these programs and services because of him -- because he was so different compared to the other kids that they've shuttled through the school system (kids who were grade levels ahead of him). Hell, if anyone should be p*ssed off, it should be me! More than half of the social stories, schedules, etc that they use at the Elementary school are items that I made -- thus other kids are benefiting from my work, etc. Other kids coming up through the system -- kids who will enter middle school (or elementary school) will have a better chance because of what we started.....because of what we pushed for, what we fought for.....but alas, since no one ahead of us "paved the way" for middle school and high school programs, we'll have to do that as well. Thus whatever we push for now, other kids will benefit from in the future.
Will I just give up now and settle for "certificate of achievement" because that's what the norm was for the ASD kids who've gone through the system ahead of my son and that's what those kids received? Should I just give up and settle since there aren't programs available that would fit my son's needs? No, I will not give up or settle....why, because I know my son is capable of more. And I'm not just fighting for my son -- I'm fighting for your kids too. Other people on the "team" believe my son is capable of more. The problem is, they want to continue to do what they've done for the past 10 years rather than change their programs, etc because "what they've done has worked thus far" (that's what one of the "powers that be" said during a meeting) or "there's no money in the budget" -- well guess what sparky, I'm not going to settle for excuses and what they've done in the past isn't going to work for my son or the other kids coming up through the district behind him. So it's time to make some changes. And perhaps, just perhaps....the things I'm pushing for now, will benefit a kid like yours later on down the road.....so, you're welcome.
Thursday, April 25, 2013
Planning for High School - Part 2
Ok, let's see...where did I leave off? Oh yeah, the tour of "Hell High"....we were standing in the classroom talking to the teacher about the program and her class/students. I can honestly say that it just blew my mind when she made the remark that none of her students were on track for obtaining a diploma, then she came up with one excuse/lame explanation after another as to why. At that point I'm pretty sure she began to sense our doubt about this program being the "best fit" for Taz, because she desperately tried to change the subject.
She began to talk about her "plan" for Taz -- the ideas that she had for when he arrives the next school year. By the way she spoke, hubby and I both got the impression that she had been given a lot of incorrect information about Taz and his abilities. She spoke about various math skills and took a step back when I said "umm no that's not correct, before switching to the other school he was getting an 'A' in his Algebra I class." (look of shock on her face when I said that) So then she started in on something else, I forget what...and I said "no, that's not correct either." Hubby & I both looked at each other and thought "who the hell gave her this info?"
At that point the teacher said "well apparently I've been misinformed, why don't you tell me a little bit about Taz and his skills." Ok lady, you asked for it...now it's our turn for some "shock and awe"....we told her about his amazing memory, how he's a whiz at math, loves sports, etc. We mentioned again how prior to switching schools and having the behavior problems, he was in ALL Gen Ed classes -- was on the HONOR ROLL -- and was doing grade level work. At that point a light bulb went off in her head and she switched gears....started to talk about ways she could challenge him, keep him on grade level work, etc. Suffice to say, once the tour was over and the conversation ended, we still weren't 100% certain that this was the best program for Taz. We thanked her for her time and left the building.
We had some time to kill before our next tour/meeting, so hubby & I stopped for lunch. While we sat there enjoying our meal, we discussed the tour of Hell High, the teacher, the program, etc. After lunch we headed over to the high school in our district to meet up with ISD boss #2 to take the tour. When Taz first switched over to the other school, everyone on the team told us that this was just a temporary thing -- the plan was to get his behavior back on track and return him to our home district for High School. Either someone lied to us, or somewhere along the way they switched the plan and just "forgot" to tell us. Everyone at our home district school was surprised to see us there taking a tour....they were shocked that Taz "might" be returning in the fall. We got the impression that they thought he was gone for good -- that he would be staying in the other district. Ummm, no that was never the plan -- sorry sparky, but we want him back here.
Although our district has it's problems, we KNOW that Taz would be doing grade level work and the academic quality/standards are a LOT better here than they are at the other school. Anyhow....we sat and talked to ISD boss #2 for a little while then took a very short tour. The principal barely spoke to us, stopping long enough to say a quick "hi" and shake our hands, then rushing off down the hall in the opposite direction. Compared to "Hell High", there were very few things about our home-district high school that we didn't like....however, the sad thing is, those things are big issues.
For example, here in our district the disciplinary rules/policies are very strict and everyone is treated the same, regardless of disability.....they do not take the child's disability into consideration at all. Thus if Taz were to attend school here, and IF he did something similar to what occurred in the past, odds are he'd either be suspended for a longer period of time or possibly even expelled. Students here do NOT have one-on-one aides....the only exception to that rule is if the child has a physical disability (wheel chair or they are blind). Thus it wouldn't matter to the "powers that be" that Taz can be impulsive and might try to bolt from the classroom if he's feeling stressed, etc -- sorry no one-on-one aide for him -- in their opinion, if he needs an aide because of issues like that then perhaps he'd be better off at the other school (Hell High). The other thing, they really don't have a program that would fit with what Taz needs.....the options are either: (1) all Gen Ed classes with no aide assistance or resource room time, or (2) a mixture of Gen Ed and Special Ed (for high functioning students who have a physical handicap, thus Taz wouldn't qualify for that), or (3) attending all class in the low functioning/Special Ed classrooms (yes they actually refer to it as "low functioning". This program is reserved mainly for students who have an IQ of 60 or lower). Thus there isn't any "middle of the road" type of program -- something that would provide the aide service that he needs yet ensure that he's working on grade level work.
The other thing that disturbed me about the visit to our local high school, even though there are some high-functioning ASD students....the graduation success rate is still very low. The "Boss Lady" wouldn't provide exact numbers, but said repeatedly that very few students have had graduation success (receive a diploma) -- the majority receive the "Certificate of Achievement". As we spoke, I stated that it felt as though the "powers that be" along with the ISD in our district just give up on these kids....I also mentioned that it was rather disappointing that there is nothing available to address the needs of a student like Taz, someone who does have the capability to succeed and obtain a diploma. I told the boss lady that not only did it feel like a slap in the face, but also like we've spent all this time fighting and working with our kids to help them be as successful as possible, just to get knocked down and told that all of our time and effort was a total waste. She agreed and said "unfortunately that's all that is available at this time, we just don't have the resources or staff available." Well gee, thanks for that....I guess I'll just take my press-on nails and go home now huh? How in the hell do they expect these kids to believe in themselves and their abilities (and expect the parents to do the same) when the "powers that be" don't even believe in them?!
So.....that's where we are at right now. The options are:
1. Send Taz to one of the lowest performing academic schools in the district that "might" be able to provide for his other needs
OR
2. Return him to our school district, to a school that really can't provide for his needs and has a "sink or swim" mentality
OR
3. Just give up, say STFU to the schools and ISD, and homeschooling him for the next 4 years.
Sigh.....I thought after dealing with the hell of puberty, things were suppose to level out and get a bit easier from here? I guess not....welcome to Autism....the music might change from time to time, but the dance is always the same.
One last thing....as I've said before, I know that there are some children who just aren't able to do "whatever" -- because of their ASD, etc. -- I get that, I understand that, and by no means am I trying to say that they are less worthy of anything compared to my son. These kids ALL deserve the best possible chance -- they deserve to have all of the support and services that are out there, regardless of the level of disability they may have.....to provide them with anything less is unacceptable. It ticks me off that the "powers that be" have the attitude that these kids can't and/or won't amount to anything, so why bother investing any time in them....give the parents and kids a false sense of security all the way through Elementary school, tell us how much you believe in our kids and how much you want to see them succeed, then just drop them when we/they need the support the most....it's not right. How can the "powers that be" just write them off without even giving them a chance? Our kids deserve better than that...we deserve better than that....
She began to talk about her "plan" for Taz -- the ideas that she had for when he arrives the next school year. By the way she spoke, hubby and I both got the impression that she had been given a lot of incorrect information about Taz and his abilities. She spoke about various math skills and took a step back when I said "umm no that's not correct, before switching to the other school he was getting an 'A' in his Algebra I class." (look of shock on her face when I said that) So then she started in on something else, I forget what...and I said "no, that's not correct either." Hubby & I both looked at each other and thought "who the hell gave her this info?"
At that point the teacher said "well apparently I've been misinformed, why don't you tell me a little bit about Taz and his skills." Ok lady, you asked for it...now it's our turn for some "shock and awe"....we told her about his amazing memory, how he's a whiz at math, loves sports, etc. We mentioned again how prior to switching schools and having the behavior problems, he was in ALL Gen Ed classes -- was on the HONOR ROLL -- and was doing grade level work. At that point a light bulb went off in her head and she switched gears....started to talk about ways she could challenge him, keep him on grade level work, etc. Suffice to say, once the tour was over and the conversation ended, we still weren't 100% certain that this was the best program for Taz. We thanked her for her time and left the building.
We had some time to kill before our next tour/meeting, so hubby & I stopped for lunch. While we sat there enjoying our meal, we discussed the tour of Hell High, the teacher, the program, etc. After lunch we headed over to the high school in our district to meet up with ISD boss #2 to take the tour. When Taz first switched over to the other school, everyone on the team told us that this was just a temporary thing -- the plan was to get his behavior back on track and return him to our home district for High School. Either someone lied to us, or somewhere along the way they switched the plan and just "forgot" to tell us. Everyone at our home district school was surprised to see us there taking a tour....they were shocked that Taz "might" be returning in the fall. We got the impression that they thought he was gone for good -- that he would be staying in the other district. Ummm, no that was never the plan -- sorry sparky, but we want him back here.
Although our district has it's problems, we KNOW that Taz would be doing grade level work and the academic quality/standards are a LOT better here than they are at the other school. Anyhow....we sat and talked to ISD boss #2 for a little while then took a very short tour. The principal barely spoke to us, stopping long enough to say a quick "hi" and shake our hands, then rushing off down the hall in the opposite direction. Compared to "Hell High", there were very few things about our home-district high school that we didn't like....however, the sad thing is, those things are big issues.
For example, here in our district the disciplinary rules/policies are very strict and everyone is treated the same, regardless of disability.....they do not take the child's disability into consideration at all. Thus if Taz were to attend school here, and IF he did something similar to what occurred in the past, odds are he'd either be suspended for a longer period of time or possibly even expelled. Students here do NOT have one-on-one aides....the only exception to that rule is if the child has a physical disability (wheel chair or they are blind). Thus it wouldn't matter to the "powers that be" that Taz can be impulsive and might try to bolt from the classroom if he's feeling stressed, etc -- sorry no one-on-one aide for him -- in their opinion, if he needs an aide because of issues like that then perhaps he'd be better off at the other school (Hell High). The other thing, they really don't have a program that would fit with what Taz needs.....the options are either: (1) all Gen Ed classes with no aide assistance or resource room time, or (2) a mixture of Gen Ed and Special Ed (for high functioning students who have a physical handicap, thus Taz wouldn't qualify for that), or (3) attending all class in the low functioning/Special Ed classrooms (yes they actually refer to it as "low functioning". This program is reserved mainly for students who have an IQ of 60 or lower). Thus there isn't any "middle of the road" type of program -- something that would provide the aide service that he needs yet ensure that he's working on grade level work.
The other thing that disturbed me about the visit to our local high school, even though there are some high-functioning ASD students....the graduation success rate is still very low. The "Boss Lady" wouldn't provide exact numbers, but said repeatedly that very few students have had graduation success (receive a diploma) -- the majority receive the "Certificate of Achievement". As we spoke, I stated that it felt as though the "powers that be" along with the ISD in our district just give up on these kids....I also mentioned that it was rather disappointing that there is nothing available to address the needs of a student like Taz, someone who does have the capability to succeed and obtain a diploma. I told the boss lady that not only did it feel like a slap in the face, but also like we've spent all this time fighting and working with our kids to help them be as successful as possible, just to get knocked down and told that all of our time and effort was a total waste. She agreed and said "unfortunately that's all that is available at this time, we just don't have the resources or staff available." Well gee, thanks for that....I guess I'll just take my press-on nails and go home now huh? How in the hell do they expect these kids to believe in themselves and their abilities (and expect the parents to do the same) when the "powers that be" don't even believe in them?!
So.....that's where we are at right now. The options are:
1. Send Taz to one of the lowest performing academic schools in the district that "might" be able to provide for his other needs
OR
2. Return him to our school district, to a school that really can't provide for his needs and has a "sink or swim" mentality
OR
3. Just give up, say STFU to the schools and ISD, and homeschooling him for the next 4 years.
Sigh.....I thought after dealing with the hell of puberty, things were suppose to level out and get a bit easier from here? I guess not....welcome to Autism....the music might change from time to time, but the dance is always the same.
One last thing....as I've said before, I know that there are some children who just aren't able to do "whatever" -- because of their ASD, etc. -- I get that, I understand that, and by no means am I trying to say that they are less worthy of anything compared to my son. These kids ALL deserve the best possible chance -- they deserve to have all of the support and services that are out there, regardless of the level of disability they may have.....to provide them with anything less is unacceptable. It ticks me off that the "powers that be" have the attitude that these kids can't and/or won't amount to anything, so why bother investing any time in them....give the parents and kids a false sense of security all the way through Elementary school, tell us how much you believe in our kids and how much you want to see them succeed, then just drop them when we/they need the support the most....it's not right. How can the "powers that be" just write them off without even giving them a chance? Our kids deserve better than that...we deserve better than that....
Planning for High School - Part 1
Hello everyone!
What a crazy freakin' week it has been! Hard to believe that we have just a little over a month left in the school year.....and of course you all know how hectic the next 30+ days will be as we deal with final exams, last-minute field trips, track & field day, IEP meetings, etc. As we wrap up this school year, we enter the planning & prep stages for next year....High School....gasp, yes High School! I can not believe that our "baby" will be entering High School already, where has the time gone?
So anyhow, if you've been following the blog at all then you know how stressful the Middle School years have been and that due to behavior issues, we had to transfer Taz to a Middle School out of district that has an "enclosed" ASD classroom. If you haven't been following the blog and/or have no clue what I'm talking about, then I suggest you go back and read the last few months worth of posts. Go ahead....we'll wait for ya.....
Ok, now that we're all on the same page, I'll begin to explain how our week has gone. As mentioned before, everyone on the "team" just assumed that we'd be sending Taz to what I've affectionately dubbed "Hell High".....the high school that is located in the same district as the school he's currently at (which by the way is not our school district), and the only high school in our county that has an "enclosed" ASD classroom/program. Hell High is located in the worst possible part of town, it is an old 3-story building (4 stories if you count the basement) that looks like it was once a mental hospital or some other type of hospital or hotel....the campus is huge and so spread out, we got lost just going from the parking lot to the door we were "suppose" to enter the building through. Oh yeah and did I mention that this school district has the worst academic record out of all of the school districts in our area? Yeah....needless to say, we're not very thrilled about that. According to the state's education info website, this school district was considered "at risk", but this year that status changed to "failure".....thus meaning that they are no where near providing what is required by the state in the area of academics, thus their MEAP scores are super low, etc. Nope....not impressed with that at all....
So after driving around the several different parking lots, trying to find a place to park and hoping that our vehicle wouldn't get broken-into while we were inside, we went to what we thought was the correct entry door (as per the instructions of the woman I had spoken to when I set up this little tour). Suffice to say, we went into the wrong door (sheesh, there are at least 20 different doors going in/out of the building).....had to track down a staff member to try to find out where we were suppose to be, and then hike what felt like several miles to the other side of the building, up and down flights of stairs....to reach our correct starting point destination. We met the ASD classroom teacher at the starting point...aka at the desk of the "security guard" (yeah something else we weren't thrilled about, there are check-in spots for each floor with security guards at each level) -- thus I felt like I was walking into a prison. So after signing in, acquiring a badge from Billy Bob the security guard (who by the way was "armed" with a can of mace and a set of handcuffs), we followed the teacher down the hall and began our tour of Hell High.
The teacher explained that the kids will get off the bus and enter the building at Billy Bob the security guard's check-in area, then proceed down the hall and cut through the cafeteria to the next hallway where the classroom is. So we walked the route that our kid would take if he were to attend this school....next stop was the cafeteria. Suffice to say, the cafeteria was HUGE....with rows and rows of tables, various food station/lines that reminded me of the terminals you'd go through at a train station, and lunch ladies who looked like they could double as guards at a woman's prison. Although school had begun an hour before we arrived for the tour, the cafeteria was gross & dirty.....garbage all over the tables & floor, etc. The teacher cheerily explained that there are 3 different lunch periods and the school is so over crowded that for "second lunch" there are not enough seats for all of the kids to be able to sit down and eat (her class goes to second lunch)....hmmmm, ok I'm not impressed thus far.
Next stop was walking down this hallway that felt like we were entering some underground tunnel.....I swear to God the hallway had a downward slope to it! The classroom was located in the basement hallway, or what they call the "ground floor".....half of the classrooms in that hallway were empty and not being used for anything. There was absolutely no color on the walls at all, everything was an off-white/beige color and the classroom doors looked like heavy solid metal doors you'd see on a prison mental ward.....(remember the movie Terminator 2 and the mental hospital Sara Conner was in, well this place looked kind of like that).....the poor lighting made the hallway seem even more creepy....and suffice to say, I was still not impressed (to be honest at that point, I was walking as closely as possible to my husband, holding onto his hand and felt like I was in the middle of some horror movie waiting for a creepy killer clown to jump out at us at any moment). At that point the teacher stopped in the middle of the hallway and said "that's the science/chemistry classroom (pointing towards one dark room and door), and over here is the kitchen area that is like the home ec/life skills type of classroom (pointing towards another door)"....then she opened this big door to what I thought would be a classroom, but it turns out that it was just a very large closet.
Yeah it looked like it used to be the janitor's room or a large storage closet, but according to the teacher this was their "study room" and where the kids kept their stuff -- coats, backpacks, etc because the school didn't have enough lockers for everyone to use. The teacher went on to explain that the kids take turns using this creepy closet, umm I mean "study room" when they need some relax time and/or a place to go work on their own away from the other students. Ummm ok, so I'm suppose to be impressed by the fact that you're going to allow my kid to sit in a converted mop closet all day? I don't think so scooter....
Then the teacher opens the door to the classroom....boy was that room SMALL! Seriously, my living room is larger than this classroom (ok maybe about the same size). They had so much "stuff" crammed into that little room, I have no clue how they'd expect any kid to be able to work.....to be honest it made me feel a bit claustrophobic just being in there. Ok yes I sound like a "Negative Nelly" right now, but honestly there was nothing that I had seen thus far that had impressed me....and I really really tried to go into this with an open mind. The classroom did have it's own single toilet restroom....that was one positive thing. And there was a small sink in the corner (looked like a mini kitchen area with a sink and some cabinets). The classroom had the teacher's desk, 2 work tables, 2 small desks with computers on them, and a couch.....yes an old leather type couch....over in the corner was a rug on the floor surrounded by some divider type bookshelves (that was the "low stim"/relax area).
As the teacher talked about her classroom and what the students do, etc I looked around a little bit....the books on the bookshelf were things I'd find in an Elementary classroom (seriously -- there were disney chapter books, sesame street books, stuffed animals, finger paints, etc....nothing I would consider "high school" level reading materials or high school level items), and on one work table there were some bingo cards and worksheets that had "simple math" things on them (spots to count/line up pennies and other coins, basic math coloring worksheets, etc -- again nothing I would deem "high school" age level items). Ok now before anyone jumps down my throat and calls me a snob or anything, I understand that some students have an IQ that is below 60 and/or due to whatever disability they may have, MIGHT require this type of stuff at a high school level.....I totally understand that.
But this place is the classroom that the "team" is suggesting would be the best fit for our son....this high school program is what they suggest, and aside from the computer, there was NOTHING in that classroom that I felt was appropriate learning materials for our son based on where he's at academically. Our son has a higher IQ, then learning materials in this classroom are things he mastered already in Elementary school....thus how is this program better than returning to our district to attend high school? Prior to switching school districts due to his behavior issues, he was at and/or above General Education grade level work, he was getting all "A's" and "B's" in all of his classes, he was on the Honor Roll for crying out loud.....yes some things were a bit more challenging than others, but he was able to do the work that his Gen Ed peers were doing -- he had homework almost every night -- he passed all of the test, read novels and wrote book reports, did power point presentations, etc.
Ok side note for a moment....the program/class he's currently in, we have been questioning thus far. Since he entered that class/program, he has not brought any homework home....nothing, nadda, zip, zilch.....I had been asking repeatedly "is he doing grade level work?" and had been told "oh yes, he's doing great and gets all of his work done in class"....REALLY?! When we first enrolled him in that program, the "plan" was that they'd get his behavior back on track and he'd be going out for Gen Ed classes (for the 4 core classes -- Language Arts, Science, Math, & Social Studies)....well thus far, that hasn't happened. It wasn't until recently that they started to send him out for 1 Gen Ed class (Science)....and since that began he has brought home homework only twice. Both times the "homework" was a single page worksheet that had questions that our fourth grade son could answer.....thus in my oh so humble opinion, what I saw coming home was not "grade level" work. The only other "work" he has brought home is a spelling list each week, which to be totally honest I think is utter bullshit (excuse my language) -- the words on his spelling list are words that his 4th grade brother is learning, words that Taz already knows. In my oh so humble opinion, 8th grade students should NOT have spelling lists or spelling tests each week.....he didn't have work like that at our middle school....he was reading books and writing papers, etc. Thus I have really been questioning whether or not he is really doing grade level (general education level) work like he was before going to this program/school, and if not then is he really prepared for what the work load will be once he enters high school?
Ok, so back on topic.....the teacher explained what they do in her class, how there are currently 6 or 7 students in this program and only ONE goes out for General Education classes....the others remain in her class all day. She also explained that due to budget cuts and blah blah blah, none of the students have a one-on-one aide (Taz needs that service because he's so impulsive and has had behavior issues that deemed the service necessary in the past). Thus there is no way in hell I would trust my son to walk from room "A" located on the "ground floor" to room "B" located on the third floor of the building -- to attend whatever Gen Ed class -- on his own. I feel comfortable saying that he could do the Gen Ed work without a problem, but trusting him to walk on his own from point "A" to point "B".....ummm probably not. The other thing that the teacher said that REALLY bothered me....none of the students in her class (even the one who does go out for Gen Ed classes) are on track to obtain their diploma. None of the students who have "graduated" from her class in the last 2 years obtained a diploma. Thus the only thing those students have/had a chance of receiving is the "Certificate of Completion" -- no diploma -- which means no chance of college or getting a job that would pay a decent salary. I guess the teacher noticed the look of shock on our faces at that point....and when we said "not even the kid who goes out for classes?"....well at that point she avoided making eye contact and came up with some lame explaination that I can't even remember at the moment. It was at that moment in time my brain said "oh hell no, this is NOT the program for Taz."
Taz is capable of more than that....he is capable of getting a diploma. He has worked too hard and come too far to just toss it all away. More on this later....
What a crazy freakin' week it has been! Hard to believe that we have just a little over a month left in the school year.....and of course you all know how hectic the next 30+ days will be as we deal with final exams, last-minute field trips, track & field day, IEP meetings, etc. As we wrap up this school year, we enter the planning & prep stages for next year....High School....gasp, yes High School! I can not believe that our "baby" will be entering High School already, where has the time gone?
So anyhow, if you've been following the blog at all then you know how stressful the Middle School years have been and that due to behavior issues, we had to transfer Taz to a Middle School out of district that has an "enclosed" ASD classroom. If you haven't been following the blog and/or have no clue what I'm talking about, then I suggest you go back and read the last few months worth of posts. Go ahead....we'll wait for ya.....
Ok, now that we're all on the same page, I'll begin to explain how our week has gone. As mentioned before, everyone on the "team" just assumed that we'd be sending Taz to what I've affectionately dubbed "Hell High".....the high school that is located in the same district as the school he's currently at (which by the way is not our school district), and the only high school in our county that has an "enclosed" ASD classroom/program. Hell High is located in the worst possible part of town, it is an old 3-story building (4 stories if you count the basement) that looks like it was once a mental hospital or some other type of hospital or hotel....the campus is huge and so spread out, we got lost just going from the parking lot to the door we were "suppose" to enter the building through. Oh yeah and did I mention that this school district has the worst academic record out of all of the school districts in our area? Yeah....needless to say, we're not very thrilled about that. According to the state's education info website, this school district was considered "at risk", but this year that status changed to "failure".....thus meaning that they are no where near providing what is required by the state in the area of academics, thus their MEAP scores are super low, etc. Nope....not impressed with that at all....
So after driving around the several different parking lots, trying to find a place to park and hoping that our vehicle wouldn't get broken-into while we were inside, we went to what we thought was the correct entry door (as per the instructions of the woman I had spoken to when I set up this little tour). Suffice to say, we went into the wrong door (sheesh, there are at least 20 different doors going in/out of the building).....had to track down a staff member to try to find out where we were suppose to be, and then hike what felt like several miles to the other side of the building, up and down flights of stairs....to reach our correct starting point destination. We met the ASD classroom teacher at the starting point...aka at the desk of the "security guard" (yeah something else we weren't thrilled about, there are check-in spots for each floor with security guards at each level) -- thus I felt like I was walking into a prison. So after signing in, acquiring a badge from Billy Bob the security guard (who by the way was "armed" with a can of mace and a set of handcuffs), we followed the teacher down the hall and began our tour of Hell High.
The teacher explained that the kids will get off the bus and enter the building at Billy Bob the security guard's check-in area, then proceed down the hall and cut through the cafeteria to the next hallway where the classroom is. So we walked the route that our kid would take if he were to attend this school....next stop was the cafeteria. Suffice to say, the cafeteria was HUGE....with rows and rows of tables, various food station/lines that reminded me of the terminals you'd go through at a train station, and lunch ladies who looked like they could double as guards at a woman's prison. Although school had begun an hour before we arrived for the tour, the cafeteria was gross & dirty.....garbage all over the tables & floor, etc. The teacher cheerily explained that there are 3 different lunch periods and the school is so over crowded that for "second lunch" there are not enough seats for all of the kids to be able to sit down and eat (her class goes to second lunch)....hmmmm, ok I'm not impressed thus far.
Next stop was walking down this hallway that felt like we were entering some underground tunnel.....I swear to God the hallway had a downward slope to it! The classroom was located in the basement hallway, or what they call the "ground floor".....half of the classrooms in that hallway were empty and not being used for anything. There was absolutely no color on the walls at all, everything was an off-white/beige color and the classroom doors looked like heavy solid metal doors you'd see on a prison mental ward.....(remember the movie Terminator 2 and the mental hospital Sara Conner was in, well this place looked kind of like that).....the poor lighting made the hallway seem even more creepy....and suffice to say, I was still not impressed (to be honest at that point, I was walking as closely as possible to my husband, holding onto his hand and felt like I was in the middle of some horror movie waiting for a creepy killer clown to jump out at us at any moment). At that point the teacher stopped in the middle of the hallway and said "that's the science/chemistry classroom (pointing towards one dark room and door), and over here is the kitchen area that is like the home ec/life skills type of classroom (pointing towards another door)"....then she opened this big door to what I thought would be a classroom, but it turns out that it was just a very large closet.
Yeah it looked like it used to be the janitor's room or a large storage closet, but according to the teacher this was their "study room" and where the kids kept their stuff -- coats, backpacks, etc because the school didn't have enough lockers for everyone to use. The teacher went on to explain that the kids take turns using this creepy closet, umm I mean "study room" when they need some relax time and/or a place to go work on their own away from the other students. Ummm ok, so I'm suppose to be impressed by the fact that you're going to allow my kid to sit in a converted mop closet all day? I don't think so scooter....
Then the teacher opens the door to the classroom....boy was that room SMALL! Seriously, my living room is larger than this classroom (ok maybe about the same size). They had so much "stuff" crammed into that little room, I have no clue how they'd expect any kid to be able to work.....to be honest it made me feel a bit claustrophobic just being in there. Ok yes I sound like a "Negative Nelly" right now, but honestly there was nothing that I had seen thus far that had impressed me....and I really really tried to go into this with an open mind. The classroom did have it's own single toilet restroom....that was one positive thing. And there was a small sink in the corner (looked like a mini kitchen area with a sink and some cabinets). The classroom had the teacher's desk, 2 work tables, 2 small desks with computers on them, and a couch.....yes an old leather type couch....over in the corner was a rug on the floor surrounded by some divider type bookshelves (that was the "low stim"/relax area).
As the teacher talked about her classroom and what the students do, etc I looked around a little bit....the books on the bookshelf were things I'd find in an Elementary classroom (seriously -- there were disney chapter books, sesame street books, stuffed animals, finger paints, etc....nothing I would consider "high school" level reading materials or high school level items), and on one work table there were some bingo cards and worksheets that had "simple math" things on them (spots to count/line up pennies and other coins, basic math coloring worksheets, etc -- again nothing I would deem "high school" age level items). Ok now before anyone jumps down my throat and calls me a snob or anything, I understand that some students have an IQ that is below 60 and/or due to whatever disability they may have, MIGHT require this type of stuff at a high school level.....I totally understand that.
But this place is the classroom that the "team" is suggesting would be the best fit for our son....this high school program is what they suggest, and aside from the computer, there was NOTHING in that classroom that I felt was appropriate learning materials for our son based on where he's at academically. Our son has a higher IQ, then learning materials in this classroom are things he mastered already in Elementary school....thus how is this program better than returning to our district to attend high school? Prior to switching school districts due to his behavior issues, he was at and/or above General Education grade level work, he was getting all "A's" and "B's" in all of his classes, he was on the Honor Roll for crying out loud.....yes some things were a bit more challenging than others, but he was able to do the work that his Gen Ed peers were doing -- he had homework almost every night -- he passed all of the test, read novels and wrote book reports, did power point presentations, etc.
Ok side note for a moment....the program/class he's currently in, we have been questioning thus far. Since he entered that class/program, he has not brought any homework home....nothing, nadda, zip, zilch.....I had been asking repeatedly "is he doing grade level work?" and had been told "oh yes, he's doing great and gets all of his work done in class"....REALLY?! When we first enrolled him in that program, the "plan" was that they'd get his behavior back on track and he'd be going out for Gen Ed classes (for the 4 core classes -- Language Arts, Science, Math, & Social Studies)....well thus far, that hasn't happened. It wasn't until recently that they started to send him out for 1 Gen Ed class (Science)....and since that began he has brought home homework only twice. Both times the "homework" was a single page worksheet that had questions that our fourth grade son could answer.....thus in my oh so humble opinion, what I saw coming home was not "grade level" work. The only other "work" he has brought home is a spelling list each week, which to be totally honest I think is utter bullshit (excuse my language) -- the words on his spelling list are words that his 4th grade brother is learning, words that Taz already knows. In my oh so humble opinion, 8th grade students should NOT have spelling lists or spelling tests each week.....he didn't have work like that at our middle school....he was reading books and writing papers, etc. Thus I have really been questioning whether or not he is really doing grade level (general education level) work like he was before going to this program/school, and if not then is he really prepared for what the work load will be once he enters high school?
Ok, so back on topic.....the teacher explained what they do in her class, how there are currently 6 or 7 students in this program and only ONE goes out for General Education classes....the others remain in her class all day. She also explained that due to budget cuts and blah blah blah, none of the students have a one-on-one aide (Taz needs that service because he's so impulsive and has had behavior issues that deemed the service necessary in the past). Thus there is no way in hell I would trust my son to walk from room "A" located on the "ground floor" to room "B" located on the third floor of the building -- to attend whatever Gen Ed class -- on his own. I feel comfortable saying that he could do the Gen Ed work without a problem, but trusting him to walk on his own from point "A" to point "B".....ummm probably not. The other thing that the teacher said that REALLY bothered me....none of the students in her class (even the one who does go out for Gen Ed classes) are on track to obtain their diploma. None of the students who have "graduated" from her class in the last 2 years obtained a diploma. Thus the only thing those students have/had a chance of receiving is the "Certificate of Completion" -- no diploma -- which means no chance of college or getting a job that would pay a decent salary. I guess the teacher noticed the look of shock on our faces at that point....and when we said "not even the kid who goes out for classes?"....well at that point she avoided making eye contact and came up with some lame explaination that I can't even remember at the moment. It was at that moment in time my brain said "oh hell no, this is NOT the program for Taz."
Taz is capable of more than that....he is capable of getting a diploma. He has worked too hard and come too far to just toss it all away. More on this later....
Sunday, April 7, 2013
Catching up
Hello peeps, yes I know "long time, no blog"...sigh.....
I swear one of these days things will slow down and I'll have more free time to actually work on the blog more (yeah right). The kids were on Spring Break this week -- of course we didn't do anything exciting. I had a few things planned that I wanted to accomplish, but suffice to say a good chunk of that didn't happen.
To add to the chaos, Taz's case worker decided she wanted to stop over twice this past week for "home visits"....oh yippee....like I didn't have enough going on. The first visit we discussed plans for next year (High School) which in some ways was a bit helpful, but the second day was a total waste of my time. She just sat here on the couch rambling about random topics.
My "to do" list is super long, and it seems like more items are added to it on a daily basis. I am so thankful for my little pocket calendar....I have to write EVERYTHING down in that, and heaven help me if I ever lose that thing cause I'd be totally lost! I used to be so organized, and now I feel like I've become senile....can't remember stuff without looking at my calendar.
Wow, can you believe the school year is *almost* over already??? Holy cow, my schedule is packed full between now and the last day of school.....field trips, class parties, IEP meetings, etc. In some ways it cracks me up, the "powers that be" have all assumed that Taz will attend the High School from Hell (ok that isn't the real name of it)....suffice to say it is NOT my "school of choice" for him. Yes it does have a program similar to what he's in now, BUT...and this is a huge but...it is located in the worst part of town possible, the academics there totally suck (they received very low scores from the state), and rather than following the whole concept of "inclusion" -- they have the ASD kids totally isolated in a far corner of the building completely away from the rest of the student body (which in some ways I guess is a good thing, cause I really wouldn't want Taz mixed in with a bunch of bad kids).
The thing that irks me though is that "they" all just ASSUME that Hell High is where we'll be sending Taz. I guess the "plan" to get him back into his own school district was just tossed out the window huh? To be honest, no I haven't gone to visit the program -- I really have no desire to do so. My plan has always been to transition him back to our school district -- that is our school of choice. From what I've been told, the high school here is working on developing their ASD program more (much better than what was at the middle school), and I really want to go and visit to see if what they have available will meet the behavior, social, & academic needs that Taz has. If not, then I'll consider other programs....but Hell High is my LAST choice.
I'm not 100% impressed with how things have gone thus far this year -- Taz was suppose to be "going out" to Gen Ed for his 4 core classes (Science, math, Language Arts, Social Studies) and thus far he's only going out for Science. The Science teacher really isn't thrilled about having an AI student in his class and has been kind of a jerk about Taz being there. Taz isn't where he needs to be academically, although the "team" claims that he is.....and my numerous requests for copies of his classwork and an academic report have yet to be provided. Last year he had homework on almost a daily basis....until recently, he has brought nothing home for homework (a week or so ago he started bringing science work home once or twice a week). Not 100% sure what he's doing in Language Arts....sure isn't writing term/research papers or book reports, that's for sure.
I'm starting to feel like the "team" has given up...like they don't want to bother with investing any more of their time or energy into helping Taz achieve his full potential. Based on comments Taz has made, it feels as though the teachers really aren't trying to challenge him academically.....seriously.....this kid brought home a "spelling list" a few weeks ago and the words on the list were words that I KNOW he already knows, stuff that he would have learned several years ago. When I asked the teacher about it, the response was "well this is where the class is at"....ummm, no....perhaps some of the students in the class are only at that level, but that is something Taz has already done thus why aren't you challenging him and providing separate work? Probably because it's easier to just have all of the kids on the same level, but that isn't acceptable for me.....just because little Johnny is struggling with whatever the class is working on, that doesn't mean that you hold everyone else back until little Johnny can catch up -- that's not right. Don't hold the other kids back from being where they need to be and where they are capable of being.....
Suffice to say, I'm not 100% impressed with where things have gone thus far this year. The "plan" to work on Taz's social/behavior needs hasn't really been followed, thus I feel like he hasn't been properly prepared for the demands of High School. And it appears as though he hasn't been challenged and prepared for things academically, thus I worry that he will struggle regardless of what school/program he is in. So....although I have a million things on my "to do" list for the next week or so, I'll be devoting more time to checking into the various programs available (or not available) within our district and other schools in the area, to determine what would be the best fit for Taz going into High School. I'll be working on putting together my notes, etc for our upcoming IEP meeting (still no clue when they plan to schedule that)....and preparing myself mentally for what I'm sure will become a battle.
I swear one of these days things will slow down and I'll have more free time to actually work on the blog more (yeah right). The kids were on Spring Break this week -- of course we didn't do anything exciting. I had a few things planned that I wanted to accomplish, but suffice to say a good chunk of that didn't happen.
To add to the chaos, Taz's case worker decided she wanted to stop over twice this past week for "home visits"....oh yippee....like I didn't have enough going on. The first visit we discussed plans for next year (High School) which in some ways was a bit helpful, but the second day was a total waste of my time. She just sat here on the couch rambling about random topics.
My "to do" list is super long, and it seems like more items are added to it on a daily basis. I am so thankful for my little pocket calendar....I have to write EVERYTHING down in that, and heaven help me if I ever lose that thing cause I'd be totally lost! I used to be so organized, and now I feel like I've become senile....can't remember stuff without looking at my calendar.
Wow, can you believe the school year is *almost* over already??? Holy cow, my schedule is packed full between now and the last day of school.....field trips, class parties, IEP meetings, etc. In some ways it cracks me up, the "powers that be" have all assumed that Taz will attend the High School from Hell (ok that isn't the real name of it)....suffice to say it is NOT my "school of choice" for him. Yes it does have a program similar to what he's in now, BUT...and this is a huge but...it is located in the worst part of town possible, the academics there totally suck (they received very low scores from the state), and rather than following the whole concept of "inclusion" -- they have the ASD kids totally isolated in a far corner of the building completely away from the rest of the student body (which in some ways I guess is a good thing, cause I really wouldn't want Taz mixed in with a bunch of bad kids).
The thing that irks me though is that "they" all just ASSUME that Hell High is where we'll be sending Taz. I guess the "plan" to get him back into his own school district was just tossed out the window huh? To be honest, no I haven't gone to visit the program -- I really have no desire to do so. My plan has always been to transition him back to our school district -- that is our school of choice. From what I've been told, the high school here is working on developing their ASD program more (much better than what was at the middle school), and I really want to go and visit to see if what they have available will meet the behavior, social, & academic needs that Taz has. If not, then I'll consider other programs....but Hell High is my LAST choice.
I'm not 100% impressed with how things have gone thus far this year -- Taz was suppose to be "going out" to Gen Ed for his 4 core classes (Science, math, Language Arts, Social Studies) and thus far he's only going out for Science. The Science teacher really isn't thrilled about having an AI student in his class and has been kind of a jerk about Taz being there. Taz isn't where he needs to be academically, although the "team" claims that he is.....and my numerous requests for copies of his classwork and an academic report have yet to be provided. Last year he had homework on almost a daily basis....until recently, he has brought nothing home for homework (a week or so ago he started bringing science work home once or twice a week). Not 100% sure what he's doing in Language Arts....sure isn't writing term/research papers or book reports, that's for sure.
I'm starting to feel like the "team" has given up...like they don't want to bother with investing any more of their time or energy into helping Taz achieve his full potential. Based on comments Taz has made, it feels as though the teachers really aren't trying to challenge him academically.....seriously.....this kid brought home a "spelling list" a few weeks ago and the words on the list were words that I KNOW he already knows, stuff that he would have learned several years ago. When I asked the teacher about it, the response was "well this is where the class is at"....ummm, no....perhaps some of the students in the class are only at that level, but that is something Taz has already done thus why aren't you challenging him and providing separate work? Probably because it's easier to just have all of the kids on the same level, but that isn't acceptable for me.....just because little Johnny is struggling with whatever the class is working on, that doesn't mean that you hold everyone else back until little Johnny can catch up -- that's not right. Don't hold the other kids back from being where they need to be and where they are capable of being.....
Suffice to say, I'm not 100% impressed with where things have gone thus far this year. The "plan" to work on Taz's social/behavior needs hasn't really been followed, thus I feel like he hasn't been properly prepared for the demands of High School. And it appears as though he hasn't been challenged and prepared for things academically, thus I worry that he will struggle regardless of what school/program he is in. So....although I have a million things on my "to do" list for the next week or so, I'll be devoting more time to checking into the various programs available (or not available) within our district and other schools in the area, to determine what would be the best fit for Taz going into High School. I'll be working on putting together my notes, etc for our upcoming IEP meeting (still no clue when they plan to schedule that)....and preparing myself mentally for what I'm sure will become a battle.
Friday, March 8, 2013
Blah
Hi peeps,
yes I know, long time since the last post. I'm not going to bother with the explainations, cause folks who deal with Autism know that life can be hectic and sometimes things like "keeping up with the blog" take a back seat to other priorities. I honestly have no clue how other Autism parents manage to do a daily blog....there just aren't enough hours in my day!
Well not a lot to say today, just wanted to check in with ya all. We're still hanging in there, have had our good days and bad days. Taz's behavior issues have improved somewhat since the meeting we had....the teacher made a few changes and he is now on a bus that has an aide which is a good thing. Of course I won't develop a false sense of security, cause as we all know -- it only takes one little thing to throw these kids off or mess up their schedule/routine, and then all hell breaks loose.
Over the past month we've all been sick with the flu "crud" among other stuff like regular colds, ear infection, & sinus issues....I'm really getting sick of this weird winter weather! It's cold & snowing one day, then sunny and warm enough to cook out on the grill the next! Needless to say, constant changes in the weather have played hell on my sinuses and are partly to blame for Taz being off at times. Toss in a few growth spurts, the asteroid/comets buzzing by the earth, snow days, a full moon, and now the upcoming "spring ahead" time change....suffice to say, I keep asking myself "what else can throw this kid off of schedule?" Sheesh!
Well that's about it for now....boring I know, sorry about that. I'll try to catch up more later and post something that folks might actually find useful and/or helpful.
yes I know, long time since the last post. I'm not going to bother with the explainations, cause folks who deal with Autism know that life can be hectic and sometimes things like "keeping up with the blog" take a back seat to other priorities. I honestly have no clue how other Autism parents manage to do a daily blog....there just aren't enough hours in my day!
Well not a lot to say today, just wanted to check in with ya all. We're still hanging in there, have had our good days and bad days. Taz's behavior issues have improved somewhat since the meeting we had....the teacher made a few changes and he is now on a bus that has an aide which is a good thing. Of course I won't develop a false sense of security, cause as we all know -- it only takes one little thing to throw these kids off or mess up their schedule/routine, and then all hell breaks loose.
Over the past month we've all been sick with the flu "crud" among other stuff like regular colds, ear infection, & sinus issues....I'm really getting sick of this weird winter weather! It's cold & snowing one day, then sunny and warm enough to cook out on the grill the next! Needless to say, constant changes in the weather have played hell on my sinuses and are partly to blame for Taz being off at times. Toss in a few growth spurts, the asteroid/comets buzzing by the earth, snow days, a full moon, and now the upcoming "spring ahead" time change....suffice to say, I keep asking myself "what else can throw this kid off of schedule?" Sheesh!
Well that's about it for now....boring I know, sorry about that. I'll try to catch up more later and post something that folks might actually find useful and/or helpful.
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Here we go again
Hello blog peeps....yes I know, it's been a long time since my last post. Once again, "life" has kept me busy and as a result keeping the blog current has dropped on my priority level and list of "things to do"....sorry about that.
We survived the holiday season and the festivities of New Year's Eve. We've been doing our best to navigate the speed bumps of puberty as we travel down this road called Autism. Although Taz has had transition issues and a few other quirks here and there, it appeared as though he was settling into the new school & program and we were on the right track....things were finally getting back to "normal" (or whatever "normal" can be when dealing with Autism). Oh silly mommy....haven't you learned by now? Never get comfortable....do not drop your guard or allow yourself to get lulled into a false sense of security. Because you know, when that happens, Autism turns around and bites you in the butt....it finds some way to remind you that yep, it's still here and the roller coaster ride is far from over. Silly mommy.....when will you learn?
Yep you've guessed it, we've been dealing with more issues. First, everyone got sick with the flu crud that has been going around. We've had crazy weather thus far this winter....sunny and in the 60's one day, then a snow or sleet (or combination) with bitter cold winds and freezing temperatures the next. Toss in the joys of puberty, growth spurts, a full moon, and the quirks of Autism...sigh, you know the drill. Taz seemed to be calming down, settling into the routines of his new classroom, and having less behavior issues both in class and on the bus. Thus I dropped my guard and became a little comfortable....big mistake. This past week, the behavior issues returned and Taz took things up a notch by deciding to throw items whenever he became upset. First it was a book, then his pencil....then either his desk or chair. (Can you see where this is going?)
Yesterday he became upset in class....not sure what was the trigger at this point since I've been given very little info thus far, and have had to try to piece things together based on what info I did receive. Short version, apparently Taz asked for his water bottle (he was thirsty) during an activity. He wasn't given his water bottle and was told to "wait 5 minutes"....he waited and still didn't get the water, thus he became upset. That triggered another student to have issues and a meltdown, and while that kid was in the middle of his meltdown....Taz had one. Apparently all of the adults were focused on that kid and NOT on Taz....big mistake on their part. Taz picked up his chair and threw it. The chair hit one of the classroom adults in the back. Mommy got a phone call to come pick Taz up.....he is suspended for one day, and now we will be having another meeting to determine where to go from here.
The questions I asked thus far that haven't been answered: (1) What triggered the behavior issue? (Perhaps it was the adults denying him the drink of water?) also (2) How is it that he was able to pick up a chair and throw it when there were 4 yes FOUR adults in the room....WHERE WAS HIS AIDE? And question #3....if he was getting upset, what did they do to follow his IEP and behavior plan? Obviously they didn't allow him to get a drink of water....and they obviously didn't remove him from the classroom/situation when they saw he was becoming upset....thus the chair toss occurred. He has tossed items before when he was upset, thus why couldn't anyone see what might be coming next and be a little bit proactive with the situation? Ok, Taz can be quick at times....but not that quick....if there were 4 adults in the room, where was his aide? How is it that Taz was able to pick up a chair and throw it before someone could stop him? He is suppose to have a one-on-one aide and said aide is suppose to be with him at all times. So where was the guy and why wasn't he able to stop Taz from throwing the chair? Sigh.....here we go again.
So, since I'm waiting for the ISD rep to call, I decided to update the blog. The other thing about this that is driving me nuts.....Taz can tell me what it is he did (chair toss), he is concerned about the adult that was hit by the chair, and yet he can NOT grasp the severity of his actions nor understand why he is suspended from school for today. Sigh....he's asked several times when he can return to school. He asked several times last night and this morning what time his bus would be arriving to take him to school today, etc. -- he just didn't get it....he didn't understand why he was suspended....he's just not making the connection. (insert mommy's scream of frustration here) It's like the toaster is plugged in, but it's not working to make the toast.....sigh....yes this is what it's like dealing with Autism. And just like that movie with the killer shark....just when you thought it was safe to go back into the water....nope, here comes Autism -- ready to bite you in the ass once again. Just when you thought things were calm and you could relax a bit....nope, not gonna happen.....sigh....well that's all I've got for now peeps.
We survived the holiday season and the festivities of New Year's Eve. We've been doing our best to navigate the speed bumps of puberty as we travel down this road called Autism. Although Taz has had transition issues and a few other quirks here and there, it appeared as though he was settling into the new school & program and we were on the right track....things were finally getting back to "normal" (or whatever "normal" can be when dealing with Autism). Oh silly mommy....haven't you learned by now? Never get comfortable....do not drop your guard or allow yourself to get lulled into a false sense of security. Because you know, when that happens, Autism turns around and bites you in the butt....it finds some way to remind you that yep, it's still here and the roller coaster ride is far from over. Silly mommy.....when will you learn?
Yep you've guessed it, we've been dealing with more issues. First, everyone got sick with the flu crud that has been going around. We've had crazy weather thus far this winter....sunny and in the 60's one day, then a snow or sleet (or combination) with bitter cold winds and freezing temperatures the next. Toss in the joys of puberty, growth spurts, a full moon, and the quirks of Autism...sigh, you know the drill. Taz seemed to be calming down, settling into the routines of his new classroom, and having less behavior issues both in class and on the bus. Thus I dropped my guard and became a little comfortable....big mistake. This past week, the behavior issues returned and Taz took things up a notch by deciding to throw items whenever he became upset. First it was a book, then his pencil....then either his desk or chair. (Can you see where this is going?)
Yesterday he became upset in class....not sure what was the trigger at this point since I've been given very little info thus far, and have had to try to piece things together based on what info I did receive. Short version, apparently Taz asked for his water bottle (he was thirsty) during an activity. He wasn't given his water bottle and was told to "wait 5 minutes"....he waited and still didn't get the water, thus he became upset. That triggered another student to have issues and a meltdown, and while that kid was in the middle of his meltdown....Taz had one. Apparently all of the adults were focused on that kid and NOT on Taz....big mistake on their part. Taz picked up his chair and threw it. The chair hit one of the classroom adults in the back. Mommy got a phone call to come pick Taz up.....he is suspended for one day, and now we will be having another meeting to determine where to go from here.
The questions I asked thus far that haven't been answered: (1) What triggered the behavior issue? (Perhaps it was the adults denying him the drink of water?) also (2) How is it that he was able to pick up a chair and throw it when there were 4 yes FOUR adults in the room....WHERE WAS HIS AIDE? And question #3....if he was getting upset, what did they do to follow his IEP and behavior plan? Obviously they didn't allow him to get a drink of water....and they obviously didn't remove him from the classroom/situation when they saw he was becoming upset....thus the chair toss occurred. He has tossed items before when he was upset, thus why couldn't anyone see what might be coming next and be a little bit proactive with the situation? Ok, Taz can be quick at times....but not that quick....if there were 4 adults in the room, where was his aide? How is it that Taz was able to pick up a chair and throw it before someone could stop him? He is suppose to have a one-on-one aide and said aide is suppose to be with him at all times. So where was the guy and why wasn't he able to stop Taz from throwing the chair? Sigh.....here we go again.
So, since I'm waiting for the ISD rep to call, I decided to update the blog. The other thing about this that is driving me nuts.....Taz can tell me what it is he did (chair toss), he is concerned about the adult that was hit by the chair, and yet he can NOT grasp the severity of his actions nor understand why he is suspended from school for today. Sigh....he's asked several times when he can return to school. He asked several times last night and this morning what time his bus would be arriving to take him to school today, etc. -- he just didn't get it....he didn't understand why he was suspended....he's just not making the connection. (insert mommy's scream of frustration here) It's like the toaster is plugged in, but it's not working to make the toast.....sigh....yes this is what it's like dealing with Autism. And just like that movie with the killer shark....just when you thought it was safe to go back into the water....nope, here comes Autism -- ready to bite you in the ass once again. Just when you thought things were calm and you could relax a bit....nope, not gonna happen.....sigh....well that's all I've got for now peeps.
Monday, December 31, 2012
Happy New Year
Hello everyone, just a quick note to wish you all a "Happy New Year"! The holiday season has been a busy one for us, and I've been working all day on housework and food prep.....the in-laws will be stopping by tonight to visit along with their kids.
Anyhow, I'll be back in 2013 with more posts....I'll try to post more often in the new year, but as you all know....when dealing with Autism, you never know just how much "free" time you'll have to do things like a blog. I wish you all a new year filled with good health, happiness, and many blessings!
Cheers!
Anyhow, I'll be back in 2013 with more posts....I'll try to post more often in the new year, but as you all know....when dealing with Autism, you never know just how much "free" time you'll have to do things like a blog. I wish you all a new year filled with good health, happiness, and many blessings!
Cheers!
Monday, December 24, 2012
Letter to Santa
I shared this with my real-life friends along with a photo, and wanted to share it here (sorry no photo). Each year our kids make a card or write a letter for Santa and leave it next to the cookies on Christmas Eve.
There have been very few times that what they wrote on their card or letter has caught me off guard and/or left me speechless. The exceptions being of course the year that my mom & brother passed away, and they wrote letters & made cards for both of them and left a note asking Santa to deliver them to heaven.
I've been wanting to call my very best friend in the whole wide world....she lives in Texas and it's been years since I've seen her. Well I decided to tell the kids to work on their letters/cards earlier this afternoon, that way I could have some "quiet" time to chat on the phone with my friend. All of the kids have been hovering over the tray of Christmas cookies all morning....thus I told them "do your card or letter first, then you can have one cookie."
While my friend & I were chatting, Taz brought his letter out for me to read & double check his spelling. What he had written in his letter blew me away -- I read it while I listened to my friend talk about their holiday plans, and I actually gasped out loud and said "Oh my God!" -- my friend said "what, what's wrong?" and I explained about the "tradition" the kids have of writing a letter to Santa, then began to read Taz's letter to her.
This is what his letter said....and yes, he wrote this all by himself with no input from anyone else:
"Dear Santa, if you have time to stop at Heaven, give presents to the 26 victims who died at Sandy Hook Elementary school for me. Will you do that for me please? Can you also do it for grandma and uncle Frank too? Thank you, love Taz"
Boy talk about something that just blew my mind! Both my friend and I were in tears and for a moment we were both silent. I pulled myself together, looked at Taz and said "why did you write that?" and he said "because, it makes me sad that they won't be here to celebrate Christmas with their families, so maybe if they have presents they can celebrate in heaven."
Then he smiled his sweet smile and said "may I have my cookie now?" My friend on the other end of the phone heard him and said "Oh my God, that was so sweet -- give that boy the whole tray of cookies!" He just stood there patiently waiting for my response....I was trying to fight the tears that were welling up in my eyes, so instead of saying something I just pointed to the cookies and gestured for him to take "just one".
As I tried to pull myself together and continue the phone conversation with my friend, son #3 brought out his item.....a letter he had written to his grandma (my mom, who passed away a little while ago). On the front was a note asking Santa to deliver it to her in heaven. On the inside he had written a letter asking how she liked heaven, and telling her how this year has gone (all about school, our vacation, etc) -- he ended it with "I love you and miss you very much grandma".....Sheesh....are these kids trying to turn me into a blubbering ball of goo on the floor today or what?!
Boy if they keep this up, I may have to drink Santa's beverage myself! LOL Oh for those who don't know, our "tradition" is to leave some cookies and a beer for Santa.....no glass of milk here, just a beer....because we figure by the time Santa goes all over the world and has such a stressful night, he'll need something to help him relax. Thus he gets a beer when he comes to our house. But if the kids keep this up, I may have to just drink that beer myself and tell Santa tough luck.
I hope you all have a safe & blessed holiday, whether you celebrate Christmas or something else. And just in case I don't post anything before the New Year.....have a safe & very Happy New Year! May 2013 hold many blessings for you all.
There have been very few times that what they wrote on their card or letter has caught me off guard and/or left me speechless. The exceptions being of course the year that my mom & brother passed away, and they wrote letters & made cards for both of them and left a note asking Santa to deliver them to heaven.
I've been wanting to call my very best friend in the whole wide world....she lives in Texas and it's been years since I've seen her. Well I decided to tell the kids to work on their letters/cards earlier this afternoon, that way I could have some "quiet" time to chat on the phone with my friend. All of the kids have been hovering over the tray of Christmas cookies all morning....thus I told them "do your card or letter first, then you can have one cookie."
While my friend & I were chatting, Taz brought his letter out for me to read & double check his spelling. What he had written in his letter blew me away -- I read it while I listened to my friend talk about their holiday plans, and I actually gasped out loud and said "Oh my God!" -- my friend said "what, what's wrong?" and I explained about the "tradition" the kids have of writing a letter to Santa, then began to read Taz's letter to her.
This is what his letter said....and yes, he wrote this all by himself with no input from anyone else:
"Dear Santa, if you have time to stop at Heaven, give presents to the 26 victims who died at Sandy Hook Elementary school for me. Will you do that for me please? Can you also do it for grandma and uncle Frank too? Thank you, love Taz"
Boy talk about something that just blew my mind! Both my friend and I were in tears and for a moment we were both silent. I pulled myself together, looked at Taz and said "why did you write that?" and he said "because, it makes me sad that they won't be here to celebrate Christmas with their families, so maybe if they have presents they can celebrate in heaven."
Then he smiled his sweet smile and said "may I have my cookie now?" My friend on the other end of the phone heard him and said "Oh my God, that was so sweet -- give that boy the whole tray of cookies!" He just stood there patiently waiting for my response....I was trying to fight the tears that were welling up in my eyes, so instead of saying something I just pointed to the cookies and gestured for him to take "just one".
As I tried to pull myself together and continue the phone conversation with my friend, son #3 brought out his item.....a letter he had written to his grandma (my mom, who passed away a little while ago). On the front was a note asking Santa to deliver it to her in heaven. On the inside he had written a letter asking how she liked heaven, and telling her how this year has gone (all about school, our vacation, etc) -- he ended it with "I love you and miss you very much grandma".....Sheesh....are these kids trying to turn me into a blubbering ball of goo on the floor today or what?!
Boy if they keep this up, I may have to drink Santa's beverage myself! LOL Oh for those who don't know, our "tradition" is to leave some cookies and a beer for Santa.....no glass of milk here, just a beer....because we figure by the time Santa goes all over the world and has such a stressful night, he'll need something to help him relax. Thus he gets a beer when he comes to our house. But if the kids keep this up, I may have to just drink that beer myself and tell Santa tough luck.
I hope you all have a safe & blessed holiday, whether you celebrate Christmas or something else. And just in case I don't post anything before the New Year.....have a safe & very Happy New Year! May 2013 hold many blessings for you all.
Sunday, December 16, 2012
Social Story - About Newton, CT
On Friday December 14th, 2012....a man entered the Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, CT and took the lives of 26 people....20 young children and 6 adults. My heart aches for the community of Newtown, and all of you are in my thoughts and prayers. Out of respect for the families of the victims, I will not post their names here....nor will I mention the name of the man responsible for this horrible event. The purpose of this blog post is to share the social story that I created for my ASD son, to help explain it all to him and his NT brothers.
Like many others, upon hearing the news of this horrible event....I cried and asked how something like this could happen? As a parent, I worried about how my children would respond to the news.....especially my ASD son. I struggled with the "do I tell them or do I not?" question.....and decided that I would do my best to keep them from seeing the news reports and all of the stuff that has been online this weekend. Some may argue that it was the wrong choice...but at the time, I questioned whether or not they would understand it all and if hearing the news would scare them to the point that they wouldn't want to return to school.
I've thought about it all weekend.....I've thought about the precious children who died that day....I've thought about the staff members at the school and the first responders. I've cried, I've prayed, and I haven't really slept since hearing the news on TV. Today as I thought about it, I decided that I would rather have my children hear about it from me versus some kid on the bus or someone at school. But how do you explain something like this to a child....especially a child with Autism? After spending some time trying to decide what I would say, I began to look online for some clip art....and created the following social story.
*Disclaimer* -- Please keep in mind, all of the social stories that I write are done so for my son and protected by the copyright I have. I do NOT own the clip art however, so please respect all copyright laws and do not duplicate this social story for profit purposes or any other "negative" purposes. You may print a copy for personal use only. I am sharing this one here because it may help someone else with explaining to their child what happened at Sandy Hook Elementary. Any questions please ask.
Ok, so here is the social story:
******(page 1)******
Do you know where Connecticut
**************(page 3)****************
***********(page 5)***************
***********(page 6)**********
How do you feel?
********(page 7)********
*******(page 8)*********
Like many others, upon hearing the news of this horrible event....I cried and asked how something like this could happen? As a parent, I worried about how my children would respond to the news.....especially my ASD son. I struggled with the "do I tell them or do I not?" question.....and decided that I would do my best to keep them from seeing the news reports and all of the stuff that has been online this weekend. Some may argue that it was the wrong choice...but at the time, I questioned whether or not they would understand it all and if hearing the news would scare them to the point that they wouldn't want to return to school.
I've thought about it all weekend.....I've thought about the precious children who died that day....I've thought about the staff members at the school and the first responders. I've cried, I've prayed, and I haven't really slept since hearing the news on TV. Today as I thought about it, I decided that I would rather have my children hear about it from me versus some kid on the bus or someone at school. But how do you explain something like this to a child....especially a child with Autism? After spending some time trying to decide what I would say, I began to look online for some clip art....and created the following social story.
*Disclaimer* -- Please keep in mind, all of the social stories that I write are done so for my son and protected by the copyright I have. I do NOT own the clip art however, so please respect all copyright laws and do not duplicate this social story for profit purposes or any other "negative" purposes. You may print a copy for personal use only. I am sharing this one here because it may help someone else with explaining to their child what happened at Sandy Hook Elementary. Any questions please ask.
Ok, so here is the social story:
******(page 1)******
in Newtown , Connecticut
******(page 2)******
A man went to the Sandy Hook Elementary School
The man killed 6 adults and 20 children.
*************(page 4)*************
Although 26 people died, many people were kept safe because of what several heroes did on that day. Do you know what a hero is?
He can NOT hurt anyone else.
The danger is OVER. You are SAFE, you do NOT have to feel scared.
Some people were angry.
How do you feel?
1. Follow the rules.
2. Have practice drills.
3. Listen to your teacher & other adults.
What other things can you do to stay safe?
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Well this is something new....
Yes peeps, it's me....I actually have some "free time" to update the blog....gasp....yes I know, scary isn't it? Since Taz has been at the new school in the ASD program, I actually have more free time during the day. And to be honest, I really don't know what to do with myself! Ok, yes I have a lot to do....laundry, dishes, sweep the floors, etc -- but the fact of the matter is, unlike before I now actually have time during the day to do all of it!
This is all so strange and new.....I'm not really sure how I'm adjusting to it all. Taz's case worker came for a home visit today, and I discussed it all with her. Did I tell you about the case worker? Ok, short version: since Taz began seeing the psych doctor again, he qualified for a program thus now we have a case worker/respite person who comes to the house once a week to discuss things and all of the various services/programs that are available. She also visits Taz at school 1 day each week to work with him.
As I told her today, this is all so foreign to me....for years people have said "who's his case worker?" or "do you have a case worker?"....to which I'd always respond with "no, what's the purpose of that?"....for years we've been on our own. Now we have someone here -- someone who can provide info in regards to the "what comes next after high school?" and the millions of other questions I have....we have someone now who will provide support and help guide us through all of the things we will need to do and prepare for once Taz becomes an adult. We have someone who can help with coordinating appointments, therapy, IEP's, etc. For the first time since starting this journey....we aren't alone, we have a support network and someone to be there with an extra "safety net"......it's strange, and it has taken some getting used to. I'm so used to flying solo, it's been difficult adjusting to the fact that someone is actually THERE for US!
The other thing I mentioned to her today is the fact that it is so hard for me to adjust to the fact that Taz is actually doing well in school and my phone isn't ringing on a daily basis with some frantic staff member screaming "come pick him up!" -- for years that has been my life....like a fireman waiting for that alarm to go off, I sit on pins and needles waiting for the phone to ring. For years I couldn't plan anything during the day -- not even a trip to the grocery store, because it never failed.....as soon as I'd get 1/2 way through the store with a cart partially full of items, my phone would ring and I'd have to run to pick Taz up for whatever reason. For the first time in years, he's in a program where the staff and teacher KNOW how to deal with issues when & if they arise (there have been very few), and if something happens they handle it -- they don't rush to send him home.....they don't call me in a panic expecting me to fix everything. Thus it is taking some time for me to get used to the fact that he's doing well and no one is calling me. It is taking some time to get used to the fact that I actually CAN do things during the day -- I can have some "me" time -- for lack of better wording, I can have a "life" again. She laughed and said "yes mom, you can relax now -- you don't have to do it all on your own." Of course I made her laugh when I said "please give me something to do -- call me -- I feel so lost!"
Needless to say, she is amazed that we made it this far without having a support network. She is amazed that Taz is doing so well and responds to directions, etc (he's actually doing all of his classwork without any issues, and most of the time he's the first one to finish things!) She actually made me blush today when she said that I do so much more than 99% of the other parents of her clients. I don't feel like some supermom though.....this is my job, this is what I have to do. She was surprised that, instead of acting all stuck up over her compliments instead I said "I just wish there were more hours in the day, because I know there is so much more I could do." It's true -- there are so many things I want to do, but over the years I just haven't had the time.....I have to try to balance myself between Taz and the other 3 kids. At that moment the realization hit me....if Taz continues to do well in this program, then I might actually have the time to do the things I want to do. Wow!
Needless to say, Taz has adjusted to the new program and school quite well.....he's more himself now.....seems more comfortable and definitely has a lot less anxiety. It's almost like he is back to being the little boy that he was when we decided to stop the meds....like someone flipped a switch, and he is himself again. I think it may take some more time for me to adjust to all of this though.....I've been "on call" for so long, I don't know what I'll do with my time during the day now.....I'm sure I'll think of something. Like perhaps actually spending some time writing the social stories that have been floating around in my head. Perhaps I'll finally finish putting all of the stuff in the kid's baby books.....or dust off my sewing machine and finish making the quilts that I started for them a few years ago. Of course a part of me knows that no matter what, I'll always feel like I'm still "on call" -- and will keep the phone close by just in case it rings.
This is all so strange and new.....I'm not really sure how I'm adjusting to it all. Taz's case worker came for a home visit today, and I discussed it all with her. Did I tell you about the case worker? Ok, short version: since Taz began seeing the psych doctor again, he qualified for a program thus now we have a case worker/respite person who comes to the house once a week to discuss things and all of the various services/programs that are available. She also visits Taz at school 1 day each week to work with him.
As I told her today, this is all so foreign to me....for years people have said "who's his case worker?" or "do you have a case worker?"....to which I'd always respond with "no, what's the purpose of that?"....for years we've been on our own. Now we have someone here -- someone who can provide info in regards to the "what comes next after high school?" and the millions of other questions I have....we have someone now who will provide support and help guide us through all of the things we will need to do and prepare for once Taz becomes an adult. We have someone who can help with coordinating appointments, therapy, IEP's, etc. For the first time since starting this journey....we aren't alone, we have a support network and someone to be there with an extra "safety net"......it's strange, and it has taken some getting used to. I'm so used to flying solo, it's been difficult adjusting to the fact that someone is actually THERE for US!
The other thing I mentioned to her today is the fact that it is so hard for me to adjust to the fact that Taz is actually doing well in school and my phone isn't ringing on a daily basis with some frantic staff member screaming "come pick him up!" -- for years that has been my life....like a fireman waiting for that alarm to go off, I sit on pins and needles waiting for the phone to ring. For years I couldn't plan anything during the day -- not even a trip to the grocery store, because it never failed.....as soon as I'd get 1/2 way through the store with a cart partially full of items, my phone would ring and I'd have to run to pick Taz up for whatever reason. For the first time in years, he's in a program where the staff and teacher KNOW how to deal with issues when & if they arise (there have been very few), and if something happens they handle it -- they don't rush to send him home.....they don't call me in a panic expecting me to fix everything. Thus it is taking some time for me to get used to the fact that he's doing well and no one is calling me. It is taking some time to get used to the fact that I actually CAN do things during the day -- I can have some "me" time -- for lack of better wording, I can have a "life" again. She laughed and said "yes mom, you can relax now -- you don't have to do it all on your own." Of course I made her laugh when I said "please give me something to do -- call me -- I feel so lost!"
Needless to say, she is amazed that we made it this far without having a support network. She is amazed that Taz is doing so well and responds to directions, etc (he's actually doing all of his classwork without any issues, and most of the time he's the first one to finish things!) She actually made me blush today when she said that I do so much more than 99% of the other parents of her clients. I don't feel like some supermom though.....this is my job, this is what I have to do. She was surprised that, instead of acting all stuck up over her compliments instead I said "I just wish there were more hours in the day, because I know there is so much more I could do." It's true -- there are so many things I want to do, but over the years I just haven't had the time.....I have to try to balance myself between Taz and the other 3 kids. At that moment the realization hit me....if Taz continues to do well in this program, then I might actually have the time to do the things I want to do. Wow!
Needless to say, Taz has adjusted to the new program and school quite well.....he's more himself now.....seems more comfortable and definitely has a lot less anxiety. It's almost like he is back to being the little boy that he was when we decided to stop the meds....like someone flipped a switch, and he is himself again. I think it may take some more time for me to adjust to all of this though.....I've been "on call" for so long, I don't know what I'll do with my time during the day now.....I'm sure I'll think of something. Like perhaps actually spending some time writing the social stories that have been floating around in my head. Perhaps I'll finally finish putting all of the stuff in the kid's baby books.....or dust off my sewing machine and finish making the quilts that I started for them a few years ago. Of course a part of me knows that no matter what, I'll always feel like I'm still "on call" -- and will keep the phone close by just in case it rings.
Monday, December 3, 2012
I'm Back
Wow, has it really been THAT long since my last blog post?! Sorry about that folks...as I mentioned the last time, things have been hella busy around here. I guess in the chaos of life, the blog has sort of taken a "back seat" on my list of priorities.....just not enough hours in the day....but I'll try to do better, I promise.
Ok, now to catch up a bit.....Taz started attending the new school in late November. Aside from a few "adjustment" issues, things have gone well thus far (keeping my fingers crossed as I type that so I don't jinx things). His aide, Miss "A" was there for the first week to help with the transition, and now Taz has a new aide....a male....can't remember his name at the moment, but they seem to work well together from what I've been told. The ASD classroom teacher is AWESOME....I can not even describe how much I just LOVE that woman thus far. Yes I said "thus far" cause you never know....she may do something to annoy me between now & the next time I post....but for now, I just adore her.
She called one day just to let me know that Taz was a bit on edge but in her words they were "dealing with it".....he made it through the day and rode the bus home without issues. I'll admit, it was strange having someone call just to give me a head's up, yet not begging or demanding that I come pick him up.....very odd experience indeed. From the reports I've received thus far, Taz is adjusting to everything well and has been doing all of his work....and he really enjoyed their first "swim day" & time in the pool. I guess my only "complaint" would be -- there isn't a huge amount of communication.
At his previous school, Miss "A" had a one-page form/report sheet that she'd send home with Taz every day.....there was a spot for each class hour and a comment line, thus she'd tell me via the form how his day went and if there were any issues, any homework assignments, etc. In many was I miss that form and level of communication. Taz's current teacher has a small pocket sized journal that she writes in, but the level of information that is in it isn't much.....thus in some ways I feel as though there isn't enough communication. But, I guess in some ways that is good -- if he's had a good day and did all of his work, then just the simple comment of "good day" written on the page is enough right?
There are so many things that I'll have to adjust to......like actually having some "me" time during the day, and time to get housework and errands done without having to worry about the phone ringing off the hook! A week or so ago I actually took a NAP during the day....gasp, yes I know it's true! Of course I hadn't gotten much sleep that week because things had been so crazy busy, thus on that day I really needed a nap.....and it was so nice to actually sleep for an hour.
Oh also, not sure if I mentioned it or not....we had our first visit with the new shrink doc. She said that for now we'll hold off going the medication route, so that's another positive thing. She felt that Taz's issues were a combination of puberty hormones and the fact that his former school acted like jerks whenever an issue would occur. Due to this new program/class that Taz is in, and now having a shrink doc....we also have a "case worker" person as part of our team as well. This is yet another new adjustment thing for me....we've never had a case worker before. Apparently she's observed Taz in his new classroom a few times thus far, and she'll be coming here tomorrow for a "home visit". Yikes....I really hate having people I don't really know that well in my house.....just makes me feel uncomfortable. Things were so busy this weekend, and the house looks like hell....so the rest of my day will be spent in "power clean" mode.
Anyhow, just wanted to update things and let you all know that I'm still alive and kicking. Will try to post on a regular basis more often.....
Ok, now to catch up a bit.....Taz started attending the new school in late November. Aside from a few "adjustment" issues, things have gone well thus far (keeping my fingers crossed as I type that so I don't jinx things). His aide, Miss "A" was there for the first week to help with the transition, and now Taz has a new aide....a male....can't remember his name at the moment, but they seem to work well together from what I've been told. The ASD classroom teacher is AWESOME....I can not even describe how much I just LOVE that woman thus far. Yes I said "thus far" cause you never know....she may do something to annoy me between now & the next time I post....but for now, I just adore her.
She called one day just to let me know that Taz was a bit on edge but in her words they were "dealing with it".....he made it through the day and rode the bus home without issues. I'll admit, it was strange having someone call just to give me a head's up, yet not begging or demanding that I come pick him up.....very odd experience indeed. From the reports I've received thus far, Taz is adjusting to everything well and has been doing all of his work....and he really enjoyed their first "swim day" & time in the pool. I guess my only "complaint" would be -- there isn't a huge amount of communication.
At his previous school, Miss "A" had a one-page form/report sheet that she'd send home with Taz every day.....there was a spot for each class hour and a comment line, thus she'd tell me via the form how his day went and if there were any issues, any homework assignments, etc. In many was I miss that form and level of communication. Taz's current teacher has a small pocket sized journal that she writes in, but the level of information that is in it isn't much.....thus in some ways I feel as though there isn't enough communication. But, I guess in some ways that is good -- if he's had a good day and did all of his work, then just the simple comment of "good day" written on the page is enough right?
There are so many things that I'll have to adjust to......like actually having some "me" time during the day, and time to get housework and errands done without having to worry about the phone ringing off the hook! A week or so ago I actually took a NAP during the day....gasp, yes I know it's true! Of course I hadn't gotten much sleep that week because things had been so crazy busy, thus on that day I really needed a nap.....and it was so nice to actually sleep for an hour.
Oh also, not sure if I mentioned it or not....we had our first visit with the new shrink doc. She said that for now we'll hold off going the medication route, so that's another positive thing. She felt that Taz's issues were a combination of puberty hormones and the fact that his former school acted like jerks whenever an issue would occur. Due to this new program/class that Taz is in, and now having a shrink doc....we also have a "case worker" person as part of our team as well. This is yet another new adjustment thing for me....we've never had a case worker before. Apparently she's observed Taz in his new classroom a few times thus far, and she'll be coming here tomorrow for a "home visit". Yikes....I really hate having people I don't really know that well in my house.....just makes me feel uncomfortable. Things were so busy this weekend, and the house looks like hell....so the rest of my day will be spent in "power clean" mode.
Anyhow, just wanted to update things and let you all know that I'm still alive and kicking. Will try to post on a regular basis more often.....
Friday, November 2, 2012
Yippee It's Friday
TGIF blog peeps! Life has been a whirlwind of chaos lately, and as a result I've been a total slacker in regards to the blog....sorry about that.
We survived Halloween (yippee)....although I must admit I'm a bit bummed out that the local church didn't do their usual "trunk or treat" event. The kids look forward to it every year....aside from the whole walk around & get candy thing....they always have hayrides, pony rides, blow up bouncy house things, donuts & other treats, games, and a wide variety of fun stuff to keep the kids entertained and wear them out to the point they fall asleep on the car ride home. Since the trunk or treat event wasn't held, we ended up just going to a local neighborhood instead & keeping things low key. We go to this local neighborhood every year....very nice area and the folks are all so nice & understanding regarding Taz, plus they give out FULL SIZE candy bars & goodies!
Anyhow....on to the rest of the updates. We have the IEP scheduled for the week after next....this is the IEP we have to hold since Taz will be doing the "30 day trial" at the new school (I have to start calling it the "new school" instead of the "crappy place"). Pretty Frat Boy, our ISD rep has gotten the ball rolling in regards to all of the paperwork we'll have to fill out and has sent the required forms and requests to the ISD transportation department, so we should hear from them soon regarding the bus service for Taz. Taz met with PFB today to work on some of his homework from our local Middle School where technically he's still a student on the "home base" program. I have to say, PFB was rockin' it in a pair of Levi jeans today....I've never seen him in "casual" wear before.....it threw me off a bit. Ok, back on topic.....
The school has been such slack asses with getting work sent home for him since he started this whole home base thing....it really ticks me off. And yes I did send a few rather snotty emails to the "powers that be" about it, and guess what....they amazingly sent home a ton of work that they had "forgotten" to send before. Gee, imagine that?!? I guess when you throw around a few phrases like "in violation of his current IEP" and "failure to provide academic work in a timely manner as per the home base program requirements"....and for added good measure copy a few other folks on said email messages (important people = their bosses), folks tend to get off their ass a bit and get things done like they are suppose to! I really hate to have to get bitchy with the school, but if they aren't going to do what they are suppose to do, then I guess I have no other choice.....they can either work WITH me, or they can attempt to work against me....and if they choose the later, well then whatever happens will happen.
Anyhow, back on track.....according to PFB, we should have everything set and in place, all of the required paperwork and meetings done so Taz should be able to officially begin the new program/school on the 19th. My calendar between now and then is FULL.....between appointments and meetings for this stuff for Taz, events taking place at the other kid's schools, the remaining parent/teacher conferences for the 2 younger kids, and all of the "early release" days and half day things......needless to say, the next two weeks are going to be hella busy! As if that wasn't enough to make me feel stressed, we also have Taz's birthday this month and I have to start shopping and planning for Thanksgiving dinner! I just know that this month will FLY by fast, and then I'll have to go into turbo mode to prepare for the Christmas holiday.....ugh!
Well peeps, that's it for now. I'll try to keep you all updated as time allows. Keep your fingers crossed that this new program/school will work and Taz will get himself back on track......he needs to be in school, and I need him to be in some type of school setting because this driving back & forth crap, tons of meetings and appointments, etc is starting to wear me out!
We survived Halloween (yippee)....although I must admit I'm a bit bummed out that the local church didn't do their usual "trunk or treat" event. The kids look forward to it every year....aside from the whole walk around & get candy thing....they always have hayrides, pony rides, blow up bouncy house things, donuts & other treats, games, and a wide variety of fun stuff to keep the kids entertained and wear them out to the point they fall asleep on the car ride home. Since the trunk or treat event wasn't held, we ended up just going to a local neighborhood instead & keeping things low key. We go to this local neighborhood every year....very nice area and the folks are all so nice & understanding regarding Taz, plus they give out FULL SIZE candy bars & goodies!
Anyhow....on to the rest of the updates. We have the IEP scheduled for the week after next....this is the IEP we have to hold since Taz will be doing the "30 day trial" at the new school (I have to start calling it the "new school" instead of the "crappy place"). Pretty Frat Boy, our ISD rep has gotten the ball rolling in regards to all of the paperwork we'll have to fill out and has sent the required forms and requests to the ISD transportation department, so we should hear from them soon regarding the bus service for Taz. Taz met with PFB today to work on some of his homework from our local Middle School where technically he's still a student on the "home base" program. I have to say, PFB was rockin' it in a pair of Levi jeans today....I've never seen him in "casual" wear before.....it threw me off a bit. Ok, back on topic.....
The school has been such slack asses with getting work sent home for him since he started this whole home base thing....it really ticks me off. And yes I did send a few rather snotty emails to the "powers that be" about it, and guess what....they amazingly sent home a ton of work that they had "forgotten" to send before. Gee, imagine that?!? I guess when you throw around a few phrases like "in violation of his current IEP" and "failure to provide academic work in a timely manner as per the home base program requirements"....and for added good measure copy a few other folks on said email messages (important people = their bosses), folks tend to get off their ass a bit and get things done like they are suppose to! I really hate to have to get bitchy with the school, but if they aren't going to do what they are suppose to do, then I guess I have no other choice.....they can either work WITH me, or they can attempt to work against me....and if they choose the later, well then whatever happens will happen.
Anyhow, back on track.....according to PFB, we should have everything set and in place, all of the required paperwork and meetings done so Taz should be able to officially begin the new program/school on the 19th. My calendar between now and then is FULL.....between appointments and meetings for this stuff for Taz, events taking place at the other kid's schools, the remaining parent/teacher conferences for the 2 younger kids, and all of the "early release" days and half day things......needless to say, the next two weeks are going to be hella busy! As if that wasn't enough to make me feel stressed, we also have Taz's birthday this month and I have to start shopping and planning for Thanksgiving dinner! I just know that this month will FLY by fast, and then I'll have to go into turbo mode to prepare for the Christmas holiday.....ugh!
Well peeps, that's it for now. I'll try to keep you all updated as time allows. Keep your fingers crossed that this new program/school will work and Taz will get himself back on track......he needs to be in school, and I need him to be in some type of school setting because this driving back & forth crap, tons of meetings and appointments, etc is starting to wear me out!
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